Everything is relative...........

For the last two weeks I have been researching my family tree. My last name is the 3rd most popular name in the U.S, but my great grandfather, luckily enough, had a very unusual given name. His name was Friend. We thought maybe he was a Quaker, a Mennonite or Amish. As it turns out, his family were just a bunch of fruit loops. Old Friend Clarence had an Uncle named Goshorn. I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how one would pronounce that name with out sounding like a complete dumb ass. Is it Gosh-orn, Gos-horn, Go-shorn, maybe the o is long and he's goos-horn, goo-shorn, but you know, his nick name had to be Gosh. So if some one was expressing surprise at him, they would've without a doubt exclaimed Gosh, Gosh! or Golly Gosh, Gosh! or Gosh Golly (gee wiz) Gosh!
Another possible relative was named Sleeze. And by Gosh, I'm serious, someone named the poor child Sleeze. We have an assortments of Georges, James, Rachels, Ellas, Alberts, Marys and lots of Catherines and Anns. Catherine was extremely popular. But, hey at least Catherine was a real name and not something cute and made up by a trendy, oh my gosh I have to be different than everyone else, let's spell it wrong! mother of today. And really I'm sorry, but, if you have one of those names, you know it's true, so don't get your panties in a wad and don't throw stuff at me. It's just that I prefer stripper names for my children. Alright, I didn't set out to give the poor thing a stripper name, I really wanted to give her a hippie name like Aura or Ariana or Jasmine. Yes, right or wrong, I really wanted Jasmine Blue, I wanted to call her Jazzy when she was small and Jazz when she grew up.
Oh well, she has a beautiful name, given to her by her brother and too bad all those strippers vilified it and of course my deepest apologies if any strippers happen to stop by. I should also say I have a poor child who has a trendy, popular name that is misspelled. I will say in my defense however, he was named this name before it was trendy and it is misspelled because his mother had a brain freeze. But hey, I had just been through 48 hours of labor, spent 10 of those hours at drill (Army), 6 hours of intense labor, watched Beetlejuice for the upmteenth time and refused drugs for my pain, I wasn't exactly in the mood for a spelling bees.
Anyway, I have met my 5th cousin, trying to find the proverbial needle in a hay stack, and he has sent me a picture of my GreatX2 grandmother when she was a wee lassie and also a picture of my GreatX3 grandparents. Real treasures that I am so lucky to have.
It's also interesting to note, that even though he and I are 4 or 5 generations apart, we still look enough alike to be, well cousins, by golly by gosh.
People love and respect each other, because I tell you true, we're all relative.

Wow! My very own blog...whoda thunk?

I've been sitting at this computer for hours reading other's blogs......and thought what the hell. I have things on my mind, such as; why am I a slave to the dog, why did I think it was a good idea to acquire 3 cats, why do I only want Scotch and fritos for dinner, knowing very well how I will feel in the morning, , why is my 19 yo son sleeping on my couch showing me his crack at 8:30 pm, when he has a perfectly good room and bed? A better question might be why is he sleeping at 8:30 pm?

The dog is laying his head in my lap, looking at me as if to say, why aren't we walking? I'm really very sorry I pooped in the weird neighbor's yard and is it really my fault you weren't prepared? I'm a dog, I poop where I want. You know this, I've been here for 2 years now. This is all your fault and I'm being punished for your ineptitudeness.

I'm very excited, tonight I actually made my house payment on time for the first time since George Bush took office.........ok, that's a slight exaggeration, the first time in....well, since flower planting time began. I can't help it, I am a flower junkie and as long as the payment is made before the 1st of next month, I'll still have a yard to place the flowers in. Which brings me to what the hell is wrong with my petunia's? Every Petunia I have touched has turned to green dust. I don't know. You know that brings me to how much I dislike my backyard. The grass is over grown, the trees are over grown, there is dog poop everywhere...yes, back to poop...sorry. The problem is I don't know where to start back there, it is just such a mess it over-whelms me, or perhaps it under-whelms me? And on top of that, my ick neighbors have a huge yard with a pool, while I have a postage stamp with a huge tree with broken branches right in the middle of the stamp. I know this is something I should have thought of before I purchased the house, but I knew not of the under and over whelming the tree would bring.

I am also excited because this psycho garden fairy cow punk is going to see the Foos tomorrow in OKC...........yay PGFCP!!!