Fire in the rainbow

Another Thanksgiving come, gone and survived. I felt bad because I did not stay long at mom's, but there were too many people for me on that particular day. Plus, the dog was sick and I didn't want to leave him long. He's like my child, especially now that all my human children are almost grown. All I wanted was for them to grow, grow, grow up, be self sufficient and now? I miss having little kids to take care of. I need to find a hobby now or I fear becoming an alcoholic. No, I'm completely serious here, too much time on my hands = too much alcohol. Too much alcohol = me doing and saying things I regret the next day. Which is of course, the case today. I'm also feeling so blue because the mini vaca from work hell is almost over. I know there is another 5 day vaca in a month but still..........

I did say I love you to him, although it was in french and I wrote it instead of actually saying it. I was feeling bad because I chewed his ass (I really can't chew an ass without feeling remorseful for it) and I thought, even if he doesn't know what it means, I said it. Besides, there's always google right? I am also of the opinion that most people know what J'taime means. I could be wrong as I often am. I will say he has not left me alone since saying it. It could just be because he thinks I'm mad at him. I'm not mad at him, I'm pissed off at the situation and the bad nut. Yes, she's crawled out of the dumpster and is stirring up hate and discontent.
I tried so hard to keep my mouth shut about her to him, tried to sort of be his light at the end of the tunnel and above all not be crazy because he's already drowning in insanity, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back and watch her walk all over him and use his children as her bait. Children she can't even be bothered to see and yet thinks she deserves to be paid for. Feck that and feck her . I won't watch her hurt him anymore and if he won't send her back to the cess pool she crawled out of, I will. I believe he and his little girls are one of those things worth fighting for. She does not deserve to even know him and she does not deserve her children. I would, given 1/2 a chance, choke the life out of her with my bare hands. I know it, like I know my own name. She is the most hateful, hurtful, stupid, selfish, spiteful person I've ever known of.

Enough, she's worn me out, loathe is such a tiring emotion. I'm going to go listen (again) to my voice message from the one who turned me upside down, inside out, and made me care again. I think he called as soon as he got out of bed. J'taime. I haven't decided if I'm calling him back though. I always give in too soon and I really do want him to think about it this time. If he wants to continue to let her control his life that's up to him, but I will not let her control mine. And for all my bravado, I really can't do anything about her, he has to do it. I can light a fire under him though and I'm always ready to strike the match.


I'm going to leave you with this:
If a man is in the woods and speaks without a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Love,
Cow punk

Toes and such

Whirlpool has shocked me, first I spoke to a person who speaks English (no offence to anyone who doesn't but I do and it makes it much easier to communicate) as their 1st language, 2nd they will ship a new gas valve and thermocouple overnight free of charge, 3rd they will replace the tank should I continue to have problems. Now, I will not have to email them everyday for the rest of my life. And tonight I can shower at my home.

I started the day out getting up late and coffee grounds in my coffee, grounds make me ill...hopefully the day will only get better, but knowing where I must go, I seriously doubt it.

The witch at work is still being a witch, but everyone is ignoring her and she's just making herself look like an ass. She is an ass but now everyone knows it. I've known for years.

I am officially sick and tired of winter. I need to live somewhere where winter is about 2 weeks long. Come to think of it, I'm just officially sick and tired. Of everything, money, bills, men, well the list would just go on and on. Yes, I'm sick and tired of men, one man springs to mind, but I still love his toes and the way they feel on my toes.

Have to run...literally.

Love,
Cow Punk

Ok, so everyone was very nice, knowledgeable and helpful at Lowe's yesterday. I must eat my words. In fact, the one guy who helped me, listened to me bitch for 3 minutes and asked me to call the store manager, he's heard it before and agrees with me, that the hot water tank should be pulled from the stores. Yes, they are still selling this piece of garbage. They did not have the part I needed, no of course not. So, I will have to pay shipping. I've decided to order two of these thermocouples so next time I'm already ready already and can save the 24 bucks on shipping. I have written whirlpool a nasty letter and will continue to write them until I get a response I find worthy of the sitution. This is RIDICULOUS. If the part is faulty at least have the decency to make them readily available. GRRR.

Monday, Monday....ick, but 4 day weekend coming up! I love long weekends, I will especially love it, if I have hot water and can see all the people I am thankful for, well I won't see them all, but if I can see most of them. My dad will be in town and that's making me a happy girl. My grandmother is still with us and I didn't think she would be, so another Holiday with her I did not think I would have.

I am thankful for best friends who let me come over to shower. :) I'll remember the bird tonight, no not that bird. ;) The turkey bird.

Well, time to play hillbilly and warm the water on the stove to wash my face, then off to school and work. I was going to go in to see Gilbert today, but I might not leave and I don't like having all his kids look at me...student kids that is. Also Wyatt says he thinks that might be embarrassing for him...maybe I should go in after all ;)

Love,

cow punk

Randomness.....boring Sunday morning

Yes, here I am again. Have I gone to Lowe's yet, no in a word. You see it is dreary and cold outside and I'm showing no signs of wanting to get out and about. The tank will not repaired until tonight anyway, so no hurry until I realize I've been sitting here for hours and it 3:30 and I must HURRY.
Why do I do this? Because I am a goat. Yes, it's true. I was born under the sign of the goat. Goats are procrastinating, stubborn creatures.

I've recently discovered Chinese astrology. It's very interesting and fun. It's much funner (I know not a word) being a Fire Goat than a lame ass water bearer. That water is heavy and shit....plus sometimes it's feckin cold. Hot teacher is a Pig. No, I don't mean he's a man pig, I mean, he's a Chinese Piggy, a metal Chinese Piggy. My dad has called me Chinese piggy for as long as I can remember...Now you would think that a Goat and Pig would be a not so good match, both being stubborn and all, but apparently they are a match made in heaven. Who knew? I guess it's a good thing because in Western astrology we are to avoid each other at all cost. I find this odd though, as my aunt and uncle share our perspective signs and have been married for 50 some odd years.

My butt hurts. I've been sitting here far too long but I seem to not want to do anything else. I would do dishes if I had HOT WATER. I would also wash the stink from my poor aching body.

You know I hate going to Lowe's. It overwhelms me and frightens me. Plus everyone who works there is a moron. I know it is not nice to genralise peeps, but statistics tell me otherwise. 9/10 times I'm in there the salesperson is indeed moronic and possibly very hateful. I guess I might be hateful too if I had to work there and deal with idiots such as myself every day. But, correct me if I'm wrong, they get PAID to deal with me. I know it's not much pay, still yet...deal with it Moron or get yourself back to Planet Moronican.

Well, my back is killing me so I must get out of this chair and do something constructive besides throwing clothes in the washing machine. I could sweep the floor and mop it, make the bed, put Halloween decorations up...yes, they are still out, but I've not one box to store them in. Not to mention I've made a new policy just today, Halloween will not go up until Christmas comes out. That gives me a week more to continue my goat like ways.

My God, do I stink, I'm offending myself and quite possibly the dog, I noticed he's not been up my butt all day. You know it's bad when you offend a creature who smells their own urine.

There's Jen, someone to talk to besides myself ;)

I'm outtie.

Love,
Cow Punk







These are all peace loving animals and believe in mutual co-operation. They are neither too zealous and active nor intelligent and also do not believe in accepting challenges and risks as they are highy sensitive animals. They also have great ability to elicit and seek sympathy, hence they are considerate, love and sympathise with each other. Pig requires Cat's crafty cunningness and Goat's civility and humility.

The power of love

The feckin hot water heater is not working. This is the 2ND time in 6 mos, the damn thing has quit working. So here I sit, dirty and stinky, waiting for Lowes to open and hoping to all the Gods I am aware of that they have the part I need. Mr. Johnson at Whirlpool corp. assures me that they do, Lowes website, assures me that they do not. Take this advice and never, ever purchase a hot water heater made by Whirlpool, unless you enjoy going without hot water every six freaking months. I will be replacing the thing as soon as I am able. Which will be approximately when my tax refund is deposited into my account. GRRRRRRRRRR.

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I was thinking about the different names for couches. Well, this is what I call that long thing in the living room that my dog thinks is his personal doggie bed. Seriously, he will growl at you if you try to sit on it. He thinks it is his and his alone. I digress, I was thinking maybe what you called the couch depends on where you are from. My ex-b/f called it a sofa, he is from up north, my dad also calls it a sofa, he lives in the Southeast. I call it a couch as do most of the people I know, I live in Oklahoma. My granny always called it the divan but she was from Arkansas so that blows my theory all to hell.

This line of thinking led me to a particular Saturday morning when I was a wee lassie. I was up sitting on my granny's divan, wrapped in my favorite blanket, having Pepsi and a snickers bar watching my favorite TV, Looney Tunes or maybe the Jetsons, man I loved the Jetsons. Anyway, my brother and my cousin were up and in the spare room, doing God knows what, but making a lot of noise, when all of the sudden my Popa comes walking in. Popa was a big bear of a man with a temperament to match. He did not like ice chewing, horse play or noise. We were not expecting him, as most Saturday mornings, he left before dawn even cracked an eyeball and would stay at the local tire shop all day long. Hey, this was Sperry, OK there wasn't much to do. I digress again, Popa came walking in, he smiled at me and told me what a good little girl I was and headed straight for my two best friends in that particular version of my world. As I mentioned before there was a lot of noise coming from the spare room and much to the displeasure of my Popa, there was gasp.....HORSE PLAY going on. Now truth be told, the two of them were probably just jumping off the bed, clad only in their underroos and a pillowcase cape pretending to be a Super hero or GI Joe.

My grandfather was not against playing by any means, you could jump off the roof for all he cared, as long as you didn't hurt yourself (this would be an inconvenience and prohibit beer drinking and watching Quincy MD, Dragnet, Mannix, Hawaii Five O or a host of other cop shows) and you were not jumping on the bed or divan, and you were OUTSIDE. Unfortunately for my best friends, they were committing 3 Cardinal sins, they were INSIDE, JUMPING ON (OR OFF) THE BED, MAKING NOISE. What happened next? My Popa yelled for all to hear, that my beloved cousin and brother were HORSE'S ASSES, this HORSEPLAY would end immediately and oh the horror, there would be no Saturday morning Lifesavers for them, his favorite and best grandchild would be getting their Lifesavers. Man, oh man, was this the best Saturday morning ever? I loved Lifesavers, and now I had 3 rolls, all to myself. Two fruit flavored and my very favorite Butterscotch. I ate every one of those fruity, butterscotchy, delicious discs with a smile on my little ornery face. ..nevermind the tummy ache that was sure to ensue.

Book 'em Danno...judgement was passed.

The horse's asses were ordered to sit on the divan , watching sadly and with longing, me eating their Lifesavers and having to watch what I, best granddaughter in all the universe, wanted to watch. I thought this only fair as they had, with their shenanigans interrupted my favorite time of the week. Saturday morning cartoons and Pepsi were for me, what beer and cop shows were to Popa.

I'm fairly certain I was later busted for ice chewing. I never got in trouble with Popa though, he would just shake his head and say "don't do that, it's not good for your teeth, little girl". Then he would pat my head and send me to jump off the roof.

I miss my Popa dearly, he was my champion and believed I could do anything. He was always proud of his grand kids, even when they were horses asses. We all loved him very much and were very proud of him.

I got to spend a lot of time with grandfather one year as an adult, I was not working, lived with my mother in the sticks and had to drop my kids off at school in Tulsa every day. So, I would head over to my grandparent's house to spend the day. Nothing much exciting ever took place, we would head to Skiatook or Sperry to have lunch at a cafe, but I treasure this time more than I can express in words. My Popa developed Alzheimer's and didn't remember who I was. I became "that pretty lady who looks like my mother". He didn't remember who any of us were. He did however, always remember that we were his people.

Popa couldn't remember to breathe or make his heart beat, but he never, ever forgot that he loved us and that we loved him.

Run off and tell someone you love them and give them a hug, you never know what might become.... The one person I really want to confess my love to is not here and I'm unsure it's something he needs to hear right now anyway. Or maybe, I am just afraid. I've always believed love took time and there is not much time between the two of us. I don't believe that anymore. But my fear and my desire to get this right this time, leaves me silent and searching the heart I had no use for, until my eyes fell upon my love's beautiful, sweet face.

I made a wish, I said it out loud. Maybe tomorrow, maybe someday.

Love,
Cow Punk

Random thoughts part one

I love life and hate my job.
I've wasted way too much time.
Some things are worth fighting for, coffee isn't one of them.
My mind has been blown and I can't remember it.
I am in love, not bells and whistles, sirens going off, weak in the knees (ok I am that, but I think it's just arthritis) love, this is calm, steady as she goes, peaceful, love, although when I look at him, my heart does skip a beat, or does it beat faster? Maybe both.
I have the best friends and family in the world.
Sometimes, God will surprise you and let you know he is listening to you.
When in doubt, don't until you've really thought it through.
A dog's love is never ending and ever gracious.
All, I have to do is smile and I melt his heart...it's true, he told me. He also told me it does something else to him, but I shall keep that joke to myself. It does keep a never ending smile on my face, even when all I want to do is cry.
Imagining punching someone who has truly pissed you off will only make you want to punch them in the face even more.
Everyone will eventually show their true colors to the wrong person.
Life is a lolly pop...

Love,
Cow Punk

History's rainbow

All the hulla baloo is finally over. I think I'm suffering from Post election blues. President Obama sure does sound good to my ears though. I have a President crush, it's the first one ever. I tried to find a photo of him that might explain the crush I have but only found this one.



Doesn't really explain the crush but I like it. It is time.

I watched the election with my children. I didn't insist, I didn't ask, they watched on their own, they wanted to watch history take place. History's happening was sort of anti-climatic, we had a round of fist bumps, watched the concession speech (which was quite gracious), watched the acceptance speech (what if he'd declined to accept the nomination, what then?), then we all went to bed.

Wednesday morning I saw a rainbow that spanned the distance of my city, it was quite beautiful and quite odd....there had been no rain.

I have heard nothing from either of my parents, I would assume they are too busy building underground bunkers. Just kidding....or am I? My dad is probably too paralyzed with fear that Obama is coming to take that extra 8 bucks out of his paycheck, to type me a little note. Bless his heart.

Well, I must return to my prison work program now. I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

Peace and Love,
Cow punk

One word Wednesday

Election day

So election day...finally...I've taken the day off so I can go vote with out pressure to leave the long line and return to work without voting. Plus, I think I will come home and drink a ton of vodka, so that I can see Vladmir from my backyard one last time. Which I noticed that post is gone and I'm not sure what happened...maybe too much vodka and confused fingers? I also took the day off to spend with my oldest son. He will be moving into his own place tomorrow. It's all very weird. I feel excited about him moving and also a little sad and scared for him. I think he is feeling the same. I can't ask because he's sleeping...at least he's not on my couch, showing me his, well, I'll spare you the visual.

Since, it's election day, I'm pondering how my two staunchly Repub parents raised 3 very liberal offspring. Both my siblings and myself will be casting a vote for Sen. Obama. Both my parents are convinced he is a Muslim, terrorist anti-christ, then turn around and tell me to enjoy my anti religious, socialistic Messiah. What? Make up your mind people. He can not be both the anti-Christ and second coming of Jesus. It just doesn't work that way in my world. What I really find amusing though, is that way back when I was growing up and forming my opinions of the world, both Mom and Dad were staunch liberal Democrats. Hippies if you will or even if you won't. They have both asked me in the past 6 months where I got such a "liberal" view on politics. I just smiled and said, you were a good parent and taught me well. Then they both changed the subject....oh how soon we forget.

I feel so sad for them...they continue to deny the truth and sling "Obama" mud at me. They are too busy digging in the dirt, to form an honest opinion. My mother called me about two weeks ago and told me to watch out because Mr. Obama was going to be taking 1500$ out of my checking account that very night. I gotta hand it to her, that was one of the best laughs I'd had in a long while. I've forgotten to ask her how that turned out for her...oh well, probably for the best.

This is Zac's (sleeping son) first election and he's very excited about taking part in such an historic election. Now, we just both hope things WILL change. And we both hope Diebold will not rob the American people of their opinions again.

Well, I'm off to vote, I hope you are doing the same.

Peace and love,

Cow Punk