Maybe this year

Another one bites the dust and another one gone and another one gone. It turned out to be not such a bad Christmas after all. I spent it with people I love and care about, there is nothing better that you could give me than that. I just want one more thing for the holidays and that's a nice new year's eve.

I spent the Eve having lunch with my daughter and shopping. What else do you do with your teenage daughter who you've just given money to? I'll tell you, you give the Rolling stone tongue to little old ladies at Sonic drive thrus. You mouth off at rude ass old ladies in huge Cadillac SUV, who nearly run over you in the Old time pottery parking lot, because rude ass can't wait to get to the grocery store to buy her cranberry juice for her cocktails later that evening. You make 16 yo daughter look at Comforter after comforter to help you buy just the right one. When she says to you in all seriousness, "Mom, this one is gorgeous, it's just not for me, it's too old", you know you have found the perfect one. You also have the "sex, please wait on it but if you find you just can't wait, please talk to me first, before you do it" talk. She promised on my grandmother's bible she would talk to me first. I'm thinking she means it. It was a very lovely day, I wish I had more of them with her. I think that's a wish I can make come true.

I spent Eve night with my Hot teacher and his son curled up on the couch watching Dog, the bounty hunter. It was a wedding episode. Good Lord....that guy doesn't have any ego problems, nor does his more than ample wife. Beth is a whole lotta woman. She could throw a man around and then kill him with her tatas. Those things were huge. HT likes the big tatas but he says hers scare him.

Hot teacher and I had our first fight the night before. Really, it wasn't a fight....it was me saying exactly what was on my mind and kicking his ass back in to shape. I figured that would be the last I would hear from him unless he was a glutton for punishment. He is, as it turns out, a glutton. I'm very happy that he is. He picked me up Wed night, I'm not sure why he picks me up, except he just gets so excited to see me. Anyway, when he picked me up he grunted, I said I've gained 10 lbs. He then bold faced lied to me and said he couldn't see one extra pound on me. I said you just grunted, have you ever grunted when you picked me up before? He said, can we just leave it at I think you're the sexiest most beautiful woman I know? End of conversation.

I walked into my bedroom last Sunday night to clean it because I was supposed to have company on Monday and yes, I was having company in my bedroom. I realized that the bedroom looked like it belonged to a 13 yo circus performer. Which I guess for the past two years, that's exactly what I've been . A 13 yo trapeze artist. My wonderfully awesome Aunt gave me 125.00 bucks for Christmas. I could do what ever I wanted with it. I thought about really expensive moisturizer, I thought about carpet cleaners, I thought about buying Christmas gifts with it. But Sunday night, I knew I would redo the big tent with it. A new comforter, a coat of paint, my grandma gave me two new end tables and 2 beautiful floor lamps. She also gave me a gorgeous mirror. Now all I need is a few more pillows, some new artwork, and viola, a room fit for a queen and company I might add. So this morning I am headed off to Hell mart for paint and all the things you need to paint a boudoir fit for a queen. Too bad I don't have lackey's to do the painting for me.

Was, not was, was.

Love,
Cow Punk

Maybe next year

It looks like Father Christmas puked all over my living room right now. I just can't seem to make myself do anything about it either. I mean it is getting there, but I just am not in the mood. I started this mess at 1 pm yesterday. Silly. Of course I slept in between. I know a good Martha would not sleep until the deco was complete, but Martha can either get her butt over here and finish it or she can kiss it my ample backside. I am at least down to getting all the empty boxes back to the storage area...read the garage. I really don't like Christmas, more than usual this year. I keep hoping for a good Christmas, maybe next year.




Standing in the middle of life with my plans behind me.

Love,
Cow Punk

Morning rant

I got up early to write this morning and now I have nothing to say. I had really active weird dreams all night. All of my family and ex boyfriend made and appearance. Ex was having windshield problems. He also had a nice old house. He does in fact have an old house...but not really a nice one. I'd really rather not dream of him. I'm thinking a lot of new boyfriend, so not really sure why I wouldn't dream of him....I'd much rather.

Two old friends dropped by in the last week, that made me really happy in an other wise week from hell. Seriously what a week. It started with me breaking my coffee pot. I hate that. It's the second one in about 3 mos. and 10 bucks to replace. Now ten bucks is not a lot really in the grand scheme of things, but at Christmas 2 bucks is a lot. Unless of course you are at the 2 buck saloon, which is not where we are. Maybe I should change the name of the joint? Also, I was sick Monday, my head felt as if it would be a relief if it would just go ahead and explode. Tuesday was alright I guess, I was quiet and did a lot of thinking. Yesterday I got up late (by choice) and then remembered I had to be at the school for a meeting in 45 min. That was lovely. Then last night I just let myself slip into a depression. It's ok though, I think I've slept it off. There really was no reason for it....anyway.
A friend has asked if I am planning a wonderful Christmas and truthfully, no I'm not. The best part of Christmas for me is the time off. We have 5 days off this year. Now that's what I call a Christmas present. The second best part of Xmas is when it's OVER. No, I still haven't gotten out all the pretties. This weekend. I have to, Christmas is at my house this year. Oh joy to the world.

I'm still thinking a lot about Hot teacher and he's thinking about me too, but not until after I pulled my fabulous disappearing act. Why do we have to do this to get them to wonder? My son says because women have a tendency to chatter at them. They tune us out but if it stops they miss the chatter. It sounds fairly viable. Especially after watching my Aunt and Uncle. Auntie is a pro at chatter but I did notice she turns her attention from Uncle quite often. He watches TV and if she doesn't say something directly to him for 10 min. he's up out of the chair seeking her attention. It's entertaining and educational. I'm really just an idiot when it come to men and relationships. The last relationship was one sided and I took two years in between. So. Also hot teacher and I are a lot a like and have been through very similar experiences. We have a tendency to react in similar fashions. I feel as if I am always dealing with myself when dealing with him. I haven't really dealt with myself in well, oddly enough about 2 years. I spent most of that time drunk anyway. I don't really feel like drinking anymore though. Talking to others who have been through a bad break up, I've come to the conclusion that getting drunk for extended periods of time is really just part of the healing process. I'm actually just ready to be standing in reality again. And dealing with it. I've found that reality can actually sometimes be a nice place. Unless I'm at work.

I'm going to be seriously looking for new employment after the first of the year. And having others look for me. I can really no longer tolerate going to that place and dealing with those people every day any more.

Thanks for reading my rants if you should stop by.

Love,
Cow Punk

Bras, cops, smiles and a lot of confusion

All that talk of bras yesterday and I didn't buy a single one. Not one. None fit. I did however come across a cop shopping for bras. She was a 36D, she said she was also having a hard time finding one to fit. I said aren't we lucky and she said she couldn't complain, she'd made it that way. Great, cops with boob jobs, I feel so much safer. Of course, they might save her someday. I guess it's back to Hellmart for me. I saw a bra there last week I loved. Go figure.

Then of course there was the Burka wearing girl at Victoria's Secrets. That just really blew my mind. A shop full of skivvies and this girl is covered from head to toe. It seemed a bit hypocritical, is that word I'm looking for? I had an urge to ask her if she was wearing VS under that 50 lbs of robe. I suppressed the urge. She seemed like a very nice girl and the only sales clerk to actually speak to me. I also suppressed the urge to spend 50 bucks on a bra.

This is a true story. I have a friend who is over weight, she went in to VS to shop for a friend and the sales girl (who was not wearing a burka) asked her to leave as she was a distraction to the skinny customers and they had nothing for her anyway. So I guess the moral of the story is VS is discriminatory of fat people but not religion? Hmmm.

I did buy some outrageously expensive make-up. Prescriptives? I think. It's just tinted moisturizer. I don't know why it costs so much. I told the girl at the counter I was very confused by make up and she said, Oh, I see that. What? I walked away. Buuuuuuuut, I came back, because I love Estee Lauder and this is Estee Lauder for people with weirdo skin (and because as usual I couldn't get anyone to help me at the Clinique counter, which was ok, because I remembered while waiting I really didn't like Clinique moisterizer anyway) . Make up girl looked as if she might be a bit confused about make up as well, so I forgave her. Plus she gave me some free stuff and I always dig free stuff. This make up better be a magic elixir for the price.

What surprised me most yesterday is how friendly everyone was. Christmas rush, everyone is broke and in a frenzy, yet there were smiles every where. Very nice, it warms this Ebeneezer Scrooge heart of mine.

I finished the day with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid...one of my all time faves, well really anything with Paul Newman is my favorite. I think there are not enough words in any language to describe how fantastically awesome I think he is.

Well, I'm out, I need to clean, clean so I can drag all the pretty Christmas deco out and make another mess :-)~

Love,
Cow Punk

Wait? What?

There was a girl working at Victoria Secret's in a Burka, yes a burka, traditional Muslim wear....I just have to ask WTF?

Dancing Hookers, pimps, wonky eyes, birthday correlation and silly putty

Saturday! Yay! No particular thing to do or anywhere to go. Going to shop for a new bra. It's exciting to me ok? I usually only get a bra once a year, well until I started buying Hellmart bras. I'd like to have a VS bra but I can't see myself spending 40-50 bucks on a bra. Although it would probably last a while longer than Ol happy, bouncy evil smiley face's bra. But, if I spent that much on a bra I'd have to buy a practical bra, you know beige, boring and that's not what I want. I want something red and lacy. I'm tired of practical lingerie. But on the other hand HT b/f hates bras and thinks they should be outlawed. I sent him the link to VS website but I don't think it did much to change his mind. He just doesn't care what it looks like, he takes it off of me and doesn't give it another thought. I prodded him a bit and he said red. I like it when he agrees with me.

I splurged last night and bought 20 bucks worth of lacy, silky panties. I can't remember the last time I did that....I always buy a package of 7 Hanes, cotton things. I hate them. I hate cotton undies. They'll never get their Hanes on me again! Take that Michael Jordan! He and I have the same birthday, we also share it with Deniece Richards, Taylor from the foos and Wonky eye Paris Hilton. Interestingly enough I also have a wonky eye. I can look in two different directions at the same time. Some call this freaky, I call it talent. I wonder if Michael, Taylor and Deniece have wonky eyes? Maybe everyone born on that day has a wonky eye? That day is actually a cusp between two Zodiac signs, maybe that's why our eyes are looking in two directions?

So, I took pictures of me in these silky lacy things to send to HT, yes, I do things like that. He likes it, and being that I'm border line narcissistic I like it too. Plus, I know he's going to look at porn, men like to look at scantily clad or naked women and I figure he might as well be looking at me.

So here I am running around in my undies, bra and thigh high fishnets and hooker shoes and the dog decides he must go out. Dog will sometimes not go out by himself even if he's crossing his knees to keep from having a accident. Can dogs cross their knees?
I threw on my pimp coat, it is a pimp coat, big, fake white fur with Dalmatian like spots, my son wore it to school for dress up career day and yes he went as a pimp. (disclaimer: son is not actually aspiring to be a pimp) I go outside in nothing but the pimp coat, undies, fishnets and bra. It's a good thing the neighbors couldn't see me, otherwise I'm quite sure they would've called the police.

911: what is your emergency?
Neighbor: There is a dancing hooker in my neighbor's yard!
911: Are you sure it's not your neighbor?
Neighbor: My neighbor never wears anything but gigantic baggy sweat pants and a huge baggy nike shirt. It's a dancing hooker I tell ya. Quick, send a squad car!

The dog finishes, we come in and I upload all the pics to send to HT and it won't go...error message. I guess my ass was too big to send across the internet universe. I stopped trying after about the 6th time because I thought what if it's actually gone and he has 6 emails full of nothing but my ass? What if he thinks I'm smoking crack?

He's a little perverted and I'm a little narcissistic but I don't think 60 pics of my back side is necessarily a good thing.

It may be a good thing the email didn't go anyway. The relationship is not feeling exactly right and maybe it's time for me to fly. Or maybe not. I'm not sure how I feel or how he feels and there is never really a time for us to have a talk. Maybe it's just time to step away for a while, maybe when he's gotten his life back we can start again. The problem for me is I don't see him ever getting his life back and as much as I care for him, my patience is running very thin. I definitely need more than he can give me right now. Lately, I'm feeling like even if he could give it to me, he wouldn't. Or maybe it's just me? I also feel like I'm entertaining him all of the time...which is fine for a narcissistic, attention seeking freak, but I like to be entertained as well and he's not filling that need. He's also not talking much, however, I know he is quite stressed right now and really not feeling or acting like himself. Am I making excuses? Honestly I don't know.

Another problem I have is there are not many guys I flip for. There are guys I like but none that completely make my heart do cartwheels. HT is rare for me. So, I'm sort of in a quandary. Do I date some of these other guys and maybe I'll fall for one of them after I get to know them? Do I settle for someone who doesn't give me butterflies? I don't think I can, I need the butterflies, I need the cartwheels and my eyes absolutely have to adore the person I'm with. Maybe that's shallow, but it's the way it is. I guess, I'll just wait it out at least for a little while. I do think he's worth the time and maybe I can stretch my patience a little thinner. I'll just pretend I'm silly putty. And I ask you what are the odds of finding another man who doesn't think my boobs need to be pushed and shoved up under my chin to be sexy and my pot belly is cute? The odds are slim me thinks.

I feel compelled to tell you, there was no one home last night but me. No pimp son, no 16 going on 35 daughter or the son who would live in my basement forever, if I had one. Nope, no, not, no one but me.

Love,
Cow Punk

***there was no vodak or any other type of liquor involved in any of these shenanigans***

Cheese

The cable guy left...finally. It took 6 hours and............there is now no sound coming from my TV. It worked fine when he left. Something happened when they loaded all the channels I guess. The phone works though. That's good, I guess, although I'm not much of a phone kind of girl myself. I sort of like the thought of no one but the peeps I want to have my phone number tho. I also got to watch tv from my bed last night. Although it was something dumb...House Haulin' I think. They moved a 100 yo old house made of logs and stone away from a 100 ft. cliff. It was very dramatic. And the man, bless his heart, he did really love that house. It kept raining and raining. They did get it moved though. YAY! for them. It was a very unique beautiful old house. I was actually hoping for If walls could talk tho...LOVE that show. If my walls could talk they would call me a dumb ass and tell me to get a handy man out here stat. Anyhoo....speaking of dumb asses....AT&T had the phone wiring so screwed up that my house could've burned down at any time. The main line wasn't even grounded. The thing is I've had them out here several times and not one time did any of the repair men notice??? The cable man may not have been exciting or cute, but at least he cared and knew wth he was doing. I was trying to think who this cable man looked like and he just looked like an extra from a viet nam era movie. Speaking of looking like....Vanna White? That woman has had so much plastic surgery she no longer looks like herself. Good Lord. I don't think I'd seen WOF in about 25 years. It was still as cheesy and boring as it ever was. My apologies if you like this show. I myself am a fan of The price is right. It is also cheesy as a quesadilla.

Well, the house has all the sudden been filled with teenagers....so my train of thought is completely busted.

Love,
Cow punk

Shelly's head

Well, I'm sitting here waiting for the cable guy to boot me out of this chair so he can install my internet, I thought, why not wax poetic? Trouble is I'm not waxy and I'm certainly not poetic. The cable guy has been here since 1 o'clock, I'm not sure what the problem is. He is running through my house like he's doing the 50 yard dash. The dog is rather fond of him though. I sort of wish he'd hurry as I have places to go. The upside is I had to leave work to let him in. So, I've been spending a lot of time at the Lonesome Hotel over on RT23, it's nice to catch up sometimes.

So, I've been thinking about actually apologizing to the man who's turned me upside down and inside out for chewing his already tiny hiney. He's so skittish anyway, I probably ought not have done that. I did send cookies his way as a sort of peace offering. He just keeps saying thank you. Poor guy. I've gone and given him a cookie complex of some sort. I also bought him a card, that I'm going to actually snail mail to him. But, I think I'm actually going to give in and verbally apologize to him. I don't do that very often, but then I don't generally chew someone's ass either. No, really. Jennifer don't you say a word. I hear you snickering. Trouble is of course I couldn't beat the living daylights out of, oh well never mind, so I took it all out on him.


Speaking of complexes.....I took an online personality test yesterday and I have some sort of schizzo something or other, it's not phrenia.....some other type of schitzoid disorder. Apparently, I am afraid of close relations outside of my family, I am generally frightened of people, I prefer to be alone inside my head, I have a love of the occult and magic and I'm very strange and I dig it too much. Since when was believing in magic a personality disorder and who decided this? Can they prove magic is not real? I thought not. I am also borderline narcistic and obsessive compulsive. So when describing myself from now on I am going to say I am a narcistic, obsessive, frightened, magical freak who lives inside her own head. Does anyone remember Herman's Head? I loved that show so much. And of course, it was canceled after the 1st season.

The cable guy sure makes a lot of weird noises. I am frightened of him a little bit. No, not really, he's just sort of old and probably tired from the track meet today. Usually, the cable peeps send out young guys who look like Nascar drivers. They once sent one out who looked like Dale Jr. except some how cuter. I was totally unexpectant of this and answered the door in a white t-shirt without a bra. (I was much younger then and the girls were still up there if ya know what I mean) I didn't think he was ever going to leave. I had a boyfriend at the time though unfortunately, otherwise, I wouldn't have wanted him to leave bada bing...What is it with cable guys and getting them out of your house? Oh and they once sent out a guy who looked exactly like Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is not a nascar driver nor does he look like one or even play one on tv that I'm aware of. He did flip his car not long ago though. I don't know how I know these things, seeing how I live in my head and all.

Love,
Cow Punk

Cookies for breakfast

No vodak or soaps yesterday. Only work and a boss and an ass who drive me insane. The Ass was not much of an ass yesterday. I think because I am trying my best to be nice to her.

I did have a visitor last night. My dad and he bought pizza. The pizza was good but it gave me a terrifying heart burn. Of course I had 5 chocolate, chocolate chip cookies for breakfast and that possibly contributed to the terror. Anyhoo, there is a lot of pizza left so I can have it for lunch. Not even 7 and I'm already looking forward to lunch.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my job? If not, let me just tell you, I HATE MY JOB. After Christmas I will search for a new employment. Life is too short to spend it with either: (A) Married to someone you don't love and never will or (B) A job that you hate and people who make you want to either choke them or even yourself in order to escape them. I took care of A once upon a time, now I will take care of B. I think I would like to work for a school district. Lots of vacation time. Speaking of which, I need to take care of finishing enrolling in my College Courses.

That's all, I'm sorry I keep bitching about my job. But it's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to. No one's around here much anyway, at least that I'm aware of. Could just be the vodak though.

Love,
Cow Punk

None such

I really, really don't want to go to work today. I know I've just had 4 days off but I want 5, hell I really want 2 weeks. I really don't want to ever go back again. I don't mind working, I just mind working at this job. I think I will tap my heels together 3 times and say, "There's no place like a greenhouse".

It is snowing out this morning...yeah, snow, 4 days off work and Mother Nature decides today, Monday, when everyone has to go out to dump snow on us. Lovely. Here's the best part, cold as a well diggers ass in January today and 65 tomorrow. WTF? My sinus's are going nuts.

I might be a bit grumpy this morning. D-dog is pacing the floor, what the hell does a dog have to pace the floor about anyway? He's clean, dry, fed, watered and loved. He gets to lounge on the couch all day. Later my dad will bring him a pound of turkey from the deli. What does he have to be nervous for? Maybe it's the anticipation of the turkey. Good grief. I wish I could lounge on the couch all day. No really, I do. Lounge all day and eat the two batches of cookies I baked over the weekend.

I feel like I've been kicked in the ribs by a donkey this morning.
I'd rather clean up horse shit in the freezing cold, all day, than go to work, is that wrong of me?

Seriously, why can't I just stay home and watch TV all day long? I haven't watched a soap opera since they canceled Santa Barbra , but I'd just love to today. I think Eden moved to Port Charles, I could catch up with my old friend and hear of her beautifully tragic life. I could drink Vodka all day and wait for Vladmir to peer through the french doors at me. He hasn't glared at me since Nov. 4th. I miss you Puti poot. Oh the huge manatee.

My last few minutes of freedom are up, I must leave now and oh so grudgingly go face reality.

There's no place like a greenhouse, there's no place like a greenhouse.

Love,
Cow Punk

Fire in the rainbow

Another Thanksgiving come, gone and survived. I felt bad because I did not stay long at mom's, but there were too many people for me on that particular day. Plus, the dog was sick and I didn't want to leave him long. He's like my child, especially now that all my human children are almost grown. All I wanted was for them to grow, grow, grow up, be self sufficient and now? I miss having little kids to take care of. I need to find a hobby now or I fear becoming an alcoholic. No, I'm completely serious here, too much time on my hands = too much alcohol. Too much alcohol = me doing and saying things I regret the next day. Which is of course, the case today. I'm also feeling so blue because the mini vaca from work hell is almost over. I know there is another 5 day vaca in a month but still..........

I did say I love you to him, although it was in french and I wrote it instead of actually saying it. I was feeling bad because I chewed his ass (I really can't chew an ass without feeling remorseful for it) and I thought, even if he doesn't know what it means, I said it. Besides, there's always google right? I am also of the opinion that most people know what J'taime means. I could be wrong as I often am. I will say he has not left me alone since saying it. It could just be because he thinks I'm mad at him. I'm not mad at him, I'm pissed off at the situation and the bad nut. Yes, she's crawled out of the dumpster and is stirring up hate and discontent.
I tried so hard to keep my mouth shut about her to him, tried to sort of be his light at the end of the tunnel and above all not be crazy because he's already drowning in insanity, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back and watch her walk all over him and use his children as her bait. Children she can't even be bothered to see and yet thinks she deserves to be paid for. Feck that and feck her . I won't watch her hurt him anymore and if he won't send her back to the cess pool she crawled out of, I will. I believe he and his little girls are one of those things worth fighting for. She does not deserve to even know him and she does not deserve her children. I would, given 1/2 a chance, choke the life out of her with my bare hands. I know it, like I know my own name. She is the most hateful, hurtful, stupid, selfish, spiteful person I've ever known of.

Enough, she's worn me out, loathe is such a tiring emotion. I'm going to go listen (again) to my voice message from the one who turned me upside down, inside out, and made me care again. I think he called as soon as he got out of bed. J'taime. I haven't decided if I'm calling him back though. I always give in too soon and I really do want him to think about it this time. If he wants to continue to let her control his life that's up to him, but I will not let her control mine. And for all my bravado, I really can't do anything about her, he has to do it. I can light a fire under him though and I'm always ready to strike the match.


I'm going to leave you with this:
If a man is in the woods and speaks without a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Love,
Cow punk

Toes and such

Whirlpool has shocked me, first I spoke to a person who speaks English (no offence to anyone who doesn't but I do and it makes it much easier to communicate) as their 1st language, 2nd they will ship a new gas valve and thermocouple overnight free of charge, 3rd they will replace the tank should I continue to have problems. Now, I will not have to email them everyday for the rest of my life. And tonight I can shower at my home.

I started the day out getting up late and coffee grounds in my coffee, grounds make me ill...hopefully the day will only get better, but knowing where I must go, I seriously doubt it.

The witch at work is still being a witch, but everyone is ignoring her and she's just making herself look like an ass. She is an ass but now everyone knows it. I've known for years.

I am officially sick and tired of winter. I need to live somewhere where winter is about 2 weeks long. Come to think of it, I'm just officially sick and tired. Of everything, money, bills, men, well the list would just go on and on. Yes, I'm sick and tired of men, one man springs to mind, but I still love his toes and the way they feel on my toes.

Have to run...literally.

Love,
Cow Punk

Ok, so everyone was very nice, knowledgeable and helpful at Lowe's yesterday. I must eat my words. In fact, the one guy who helped me, listened to me bitch for 3 minutes and asked me to call the store manager, he's heard it before and agrees with me, that the hot water tank should be pulled from the stores. Yes, they are still selling this piece of garbage. They did not have the part I needed, no of course not. So, I will have to pay shipping. I've decided to order two of these thermocouples so next time I'm already ready already and can save the 24 bucks on shipping. I have written whirlpool a nasty letter and will continue to write them until I get a response I find worthy of the sitution. This is RIDICULOUS. If the part is faulty at least have the decency to make them readily available. GRRR.

Monday, Monday....ick, but 4 day weekend coming up! I love long weekends, I will especially love it, if I have hot water and can see all the people I am thankful for, well I won't see them all, but if I can see most of them. My dad will be in town and that's making me a happy girl. My grandmother is still with us and I didn't think she would be, so another Holiday with her I did not think I would have.

I am thankful for best friends who let me come over to shower. :) I'll remember the bird tonight, no not that bird. ;) The turkey bird.

Well, time to play hillbilly and warm the water on the stove to wash my face, then off to school and work. I was going to go in to see Gilbert today, but I might not leave and I don't like having all his kids look at me...student kids that is. Also Wyatt says he thinks that might be embarrassing for him...maybe I should go in after all ;)

Love,

cow punk

Randomness.....boring Sunday morning

Yes, here I am again. Have I gone to Lowe's yet, no in a word. You see it is dreary and cold outside and I'm showing no signs of wanting to get out and about. The tank will not repaired until tonight anyway, so no hurry until I realize I've been sitting here for hours and it 3:30 and I must HURRY.
Why do I do this? Because I am a goat. Yes, it's true. I was born under the sign of the goat. Goats are procrastinating, stubborn creatures.

I've recently discovered Chinese astrology. It's very interesting and fun. It's much funner (I know not a word) being a Fire Goat than a lame ass water bearer. That water is heavy and shit....plus sometimes it's feckin cold. Hot teacher is a Pig. No, I don't mean he's a man pig, I mean, he's a Chinese Piggy, a metal Chinese Piggy. My dad has called me Chinese piggy for as long as I can remember...Now you would think that a Goat and Pig would be a not so good match, both being stubborn and all, but apparently they are a match made in heaven. Who knew? I guess it's a good thing because in Western astrology we are to avoid each other at all cost. I find this odd though, as my aunt and uncle share our perspective signs and have been married for 50 some odd years.

My butt hurts. I've been sitting here far too long but I seem to not want to do anything else. I would do dishes if I had HOT WATER. I would also wash the stink from my poor aching body.

You know I hate going to Lowe's. It overwhelms me and frightens me. Plus everyone who works there is a moron. I know it is not nice to genralise peeps, but statistics tell me otherwise. 9/10 times I'm in there the salesperson is indeed moronic and possibly very hateful. I guess I might be hateful too if I had to work there and deal with idiots such as myself every day. But, correct me if I'm wrong, they get PAID to deal with me. I know it's not much pay, still yet...deal with it Moron or get yourself back to Planet Moronican.

Well, my back is killing me so I must get out of this chair and do something constructive besides throwing clothes in the washing machine. I could sweep the floor and mop it, make the bed, put Halloween decorations up...yes, they are still out, but I've not one box to store them in. Not to mention I've made a new policy just today, Halloween will not go up until Christmas comes out. That gives me a week more to continue my goat like ways.

My God, do I stink, I'm offending myself and quite possibly the dog, I noticed he's not been up my butt all day. You know it's bad when you offend a creature who smells their own urine.

There's Jen, someone to talk to besides myself ;)

I'm outtie.

Love,
Cow Punk







These are all peace loving animals and believe in mutual co-operation. They are neither too zealous and active nor intelligent and also do not believe in accepting challenges and risks as they are highy sensitive animals. They also have great ability to elicit and seek sympathy, hence they are considerate, love and sympathise with each other. Pig requires Cat's crafty cunningness and Goat's civility and humility.

The power of love

The feckin hot water heater is not working. This is the 2ND time in 6 mos, the damn thing has quit working. So here I sit, dirty and stinky, waiting for Lowes to open and hoping to all the Gods I am aware of that they have the part I need. Mr. Johnson at Whirlpool corp. assures me that they do, Lowes website, assures me that they do not. Take this advice and never, ever purchase a hot water heater made by Whirlpool, unless you enjoy going without hot water every six freaking months. I will be replacing the thing as soon as I am able. Which will be approximately when my tax refund is deposited into my account. GRRRRRRRRRR.

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I was thinking about the different names for couches. Well, this is what I call that long thing in the living room that my dog thinks is his personal doggie bed. Seriously, he will growl at you if you try to sit on it. He thinks it is his and his alone. I digress, I was thinking maybe what you called the couch depends on where you are from. My ex-b/f called it a sofa, he is from up north, my dad also calls it a sofa, he lives in the Southeast. I call it a couch as do most of the people I know, I live in Oklahoma. My granny always called it the divan but she was from Arkansas so that blows my theory all to hell.

This line of thinking led me to a particular Saturday morning when I was a wee lassie. I was up sitting on my granny's divan, wrapped in my favorite blanket, having Pepsi and a snickers bar watching my favorite TV, Looney Tunes or maybe the Jetsons, man I loved the Jetsons. Anyway, my brother and my cousin were up and in the spare room, doing God knows what, but making a lot of noise, when all of the sudden my Popa comes walking in. Popa was a big bear of a man with a temperament to match. He did not like ice chewing, horse play or noise. We were not expecting him, as most Saturday mornings, he left before dawn even cracked an eyeball and would stay at the local tire shop all day long. Hey, this was Sperry, OK there wasn't much to do. I digress again, Popa came walking in, he smiled at me and told me what a good little girl I was and headed straight for my two best friends in that particular version of my world. As I mentioned before there was a lot of noise coming from the spare room and much to the displeasure of my Popa, there was gasp.....HORSE PLAY going on. Now truth be told, the two of them were probably just jumping off the bed, clad only in their underroos and a pillowcase cape pretending to be a Super hero or GI Joe.

My grandfather was not against playing by any means, you could jump off the roof for all he cared, as long as you didn't hurt yourself (this would be an inconvenience and prohibit beer drinking and watching Quincy MD, Dragnet, Mannix, Hawaii Five O or a host of other cop shows) and you were not jumping on the bed or divan, and you were OUTSIDE. Unfortunately for my best friends, they were committing 3 Cardinal sins, they were INSIDE, JUMPING ON (OR OFF) THE BED, MAKING NOISE. What happened next? My Popa yelled for all to hear, that my beloved cousin and brother were HORSE'S ASSES, this HORSEPLAY would end immediately and oh the horror, there would be no Saturday morning Lifesavers for them, his favorite and best grandchild would be getting their Lifesavers. Man, oh man, was this the best Saturday morning ever? I loved Lifesavers, and now I had 3 rolls, all to myself. Two fruit flavored and my very favorite Butterscotch. I ate every one of those fruity, butterscotchy, delicious discs with a smile on my little ornery face. ..nevermind the tummy ache that was sure to ensue.

Book 'em Danno...judgement was passed.

The horse's asses were ordered to sit on the divan , watching sadly and with longing, me eating their Lifesavers and having to watch what I, best granddaughter in all the universe, wanted to watch. I thought this only fair as they had, with their shenanigans interrupted my favorite time of the week. Saturday morning cartoons and Pepsi were for me, what beer and cop shows were to Popa.

I'm fairly certain I was later busted for ice chewing. I never got in trouble with Popa though, he would just shake his head and say "don't do that, it's not good for your teeth, little girl". Then he would pat my head and send me to jump off the roof.

I miss my Popa dearly, he was my champion and believed I could do anything. He was always proud of his grand kids, even when they were horses asses. We all loved him very much and were very proud of him.

I got to spend a lot of time with grandfather one year as an adult, I was not working, lived with my mother in the sticks and had to drop my kids off at school in Tulsa every day. So, I would head over to my grandparent's house to spend the day. Nothing much exciting ever took place, we would head to Skiatook or Sperry to have lunch at a cafe, but I treasure this time more than I can express in words. My Popa developed Alzheimer's and didn't remember who I was. I became "that pretty lady who looks like my mother". He didn't remember who any of us were. He did however, always remember that we were his people.

Popa couldn't remember to breathe or make his heart beat, but he never, ever forgot that he loved us and that we loved him.

Run off and tell someone you love them and give them a hug, you never know what might become.... The one person I really want to confess my love to is not here and I'm unsure it's something he needs to hear right now anyway. Or maybe, I am just afraid. I've always believed love took time and there is not much time between the two of us. I don't believe that anymore. But my fear and my desire to get this right this time, leaves me silent and searching the heart I had no use for, until my eyes fell upon my love's beautiful, sweet face.

I made a wish, I said it out loud. Maybe tomorrow, maybe someday.

Love,
Cow Punk

Random thoughts part one

I love life and hate my job.
I've wasted way too much time.
Some things are worth fighting for, coffee isn't one of them.
My mind has been blown and I can't remember it.
I am in love, not bells and whistles, sirens going off, weak in the knees (ok I am that, but I think it's just arthritis) love, this is calm, steady as she goes, peaceful, love, although when I look at him, my heart does skip a beat, or does it beat faster? Maybe both.
I have the best friends and family in the world.
Sometimes, God will surprise you and let you know he is listening to you.
When in doubt, don't until you've really thought it through.
A dog's love is never ending and ever gracious.
All, I have to do is smile and I melt his heart...it's true, he told me. He also told me it does something else to him, but I shall keep that joke to myself. It does keep a never ending smile on my face, even when all I want to do is cry.
Imagining punching someone who has truly pissed you off will only make you want to punch them in the face even more.
Everyone will eventually show their true colors to the wrong person.
Life is a lolly pop...

Love,
Cow Punk

History's rainbow

All the hulla baloo is finally over. I think I'm suffering from Post election blues. President Obama sure does sound good to my ears though. I have a President crush, it's the first one ever. I tried to find a photo of him that might explain the crush I have but only found this one.



Doesn't really explain the crush but I like it. It is time.

I watched the election with my children. I didn't insist, I didn't ask, they watched on their own, they wanted to watch history take place. History's happening was sort of anti-climatic, we had a round of fist bumps, watched the concession speech (which was quite gracious), watched the acceptance speech (what if he'd declined to accept the nomination, what then?), then we all went to bed.

Wednesday morning I saw a rainbow that spanned the distance of my city, it was quite beautiful and quite odd....there had been no rain.

I have heard nothing from either of my parents, I would assume they are too busy building underground bunkers. Just kidding....or am I? My dad is probably too paralyzed with fear that Obama is coming to take that extra 8 bucks out of his paycheck, to type me a little note. Bless his heart.

Well, I must return to my prison work program now. I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

Peace and Love,
Cow punk

One word Wednesday

Election day

So election day...finally...I've taken the day off so I can go vote with out pressure to leave the long line and return to work without voting. Plus, I think I will come home and drink a ton of vodka, so that I can see Vladmir from my backyard one last time. Which I noticed that post is gone and I'm not sure what happened...maybe too much vodka and confused fingers? I also took the day off to spend with my oldest son. He will be moving into his own place tomorrow. It's all very weird. I feel excited about him moving and also a little sad and scared for him. I think he is feeling the same. I can't ask because he's sleeping...at least he's not on my couch, showing me his, well, I'll spare you the visual.

Since, it's election day, I'm pondering how my two staunchly Repub parents raised 3 very liberal offspring. Both my siblings and myself will be casting a vote for Sen. Obama. Both my parents are convinced he is a Muslim, terrorist anti-christ, then turn around and tell me to enjoy my anti religious, socialistic Messiah. What? Make up your mind people. He can not be both the anti-Christ and second coming of Jesus. It just doesn't work that way in my world. What I really find amusing though, is that way back when I was growing up and forming my opinions of the world, both Mom and Dad were staunch liberal Democrats. Hippies if you will or even if you won't. They have both asked me in the past 6 months where I got such a "liberal" view on politics. I just smiled and said, you were a good parent and taught me well. Then they both changed the subject....oh how soon we forget.

I feel so sad for them...they continue to deny the truth and sling "Obama" mud at me. They are too busy digging in the dirt, to form an honest opinion. My mother called me about two weeks ago and told me to watch out because Mr. Obama was going to be taking 1500$ out of my checking account that very night. I gotta hand it to her, that was one of the best laughs I'd had in a long while. I've forgotten to ask her how that turned out for her...oh well, probably for the best.

This is Zac's (sleeping son) first election and he's very excited about taking part in such an historic election. Now, we just both hope things WILL change. And we both hope Diebold will not rob the American people of their opinions again.

Well, I'm off to vote, I hope you are doing the same.

Peace and love,

Cow Punk

Ode to a squirrel

I am sad this morning. My squirrel passed away. He is in the backyard laying lifeless. The squirrel was mean and chittered, chattered and chastised me, the cats and of course the dog anytime we dared venture into our own yard. But see, the squirrel lived here before any of us did. He owned the place long before I did, so I figured he had the right to bitch at us for encroaching on his 'hood. He never came near any of us, but would instead shoot nuts out his mouth anytime we came too near. I would yell obscenities at him but inside I was laughing at him. He would throw back cuss words at me in his squirrel language. It became a game for both of us. I sure am going to miss that squirrel. The worst part is I have to go in the backyard, scoop him up and throw him in the garbage can. I think instead I will put him in a shoe box and have my son bury him. It seems a more proper ending for a creature that brought me so much in the way of emotions.

I have a very busy day. I'm off to see the wizard. Not really, my mom, grandma and later my Gilbert. Up until last night I had not been able to see him in a month. It seemed more like a year. Oddly enough though, the time away from him proved to be a good thing. It gave me time to think about what's important and what's not. I also took a step backwards and saw him with clearer vision, looked at his faults, thought of his fears, saw all the trials and tribulations he is facing and guess what? He's just an ordinary guy. He's still my Superman.

Have a supercalifragilisticexpealdocious weekend. I'm not really sure that's how you spell that, but you get the idea!

Love,
Cow Punk

Sunday morning comin down...ok it's really afternoon, so what?

Hello, howdy, they've gone and found water on the moon. Not really, but I'm feeling very happy today, so anything is possible. The weather is gorgeous...late summery, I have no plans but to ramble around my house that I am luckily still able to pay for.

Some would question my sanity as I have only 9 bucks to my name, but I have a roof over my head, my favorite dinner is in the crock pot, I have dear, dear friends. One of my best friends has just had something returned to him that you couldn't put a price tag on. Invaluable would be the word I'm looking for. Oh and the nut is just about to be hurled where she belongs. Sometimes, you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.




I am still working on finding 5 kick ass blogs, just no patience to sit and read lately...I know they're out there and I will get around to it.

Everyone have a beautiful Sunday, hug someone for me.

Love,
Cow Punk

I have no idea if this is for or against, but if made my day.....





Gittin jiggy with it!

I'm cow punk and I approve this message.


Obama/Biden 08

I accept this nomination..

I have been nominated for being this



I am thrilled and some what initimidated by this nomination.

I feel a bit like this:





You like me, you really like me...at least Liz Jones does.

So thank you Liz Jones on behalf of my mother, father, children, ex husbands and boy friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and sock monkeys every where, we salute you as being a true


Superstar!

Now, I am off to watch the sock monkey and Senator Obama..um, I mean Presidential candidates flip flo.....uh, I mean debate the issues. Please vote Obama, and stop the 8 years of fail. I have been watching for 10 min and only heard McCain attack Obama, telling me of the merits of NUCLEAR power, instead of telling me what he will do for the American people. And as much as I hate to say it...McCain looks like a dinosaur and his top lip never moves. I guess that's what happens when you're full of shit.

Let it be known that the D- Dog and I support Obama as do all of the children that reside in this house. Bring the power back to the people. VOTE OBAMA!



Love,
Cow Punk

early one morning......

I'm still thinking about the sweet smell of horse manure, I didn't get to smell it Sunday, as yet another psycho entered my life on that day. That's just what I needed, one more crazy person to liven things up. I only wish this person was psycho in a good way. But no, she's one of those weird nuts you only see in Granny's nut bowl at Christmas, those nuts with various bad names because absolutely no one will eat them. They just sit there in their cozy little acorn bowl, taunting you until you have finally had it with them and violently hurl them in the garbage can where they belong.



I'm hoping this particular nut, will be hurled soon. Unfortunately, it is not my place to toss her, if it was, she'd already be a part of the landscape at the town dump. I'm told she's headed that way, but it could get nasty and take awhile...but what else could one expect from a bad nut?

I'm also wondering why I'm up at 5:00 in the AM. Oh yes, because I am also crazy and have 3 cats, whom have decided I live by their rules and hell hath no fury like a cat wanting to eat.

Last night, I'm sitting on the porch, finally having a moment of peace, when my 17 and 19 yo sons and 17 yo adopted neighbor son, come flying out the door, enthusiastically yelling for me to come see Mom!! I am skeptical of seeing anything that 3 teenage boys are this excited about. To make matters worse, Wyatt says you have to come in the bathroom to see it. How about no, I don't want to see anything in the bathroom that you are this excited about.

Did you know, lifesaver mints spark in the dark when bitten into? Go ahead, file the whole family in the bathroom and try it.

I've decided it is time to grow up and have scheduled a meeting with a financial adviser on Thursday. She has promised me I can make my money work for me and can be a farmer in just 4 short years. I don't know what clock she's been watching but 4 years seems an eternity to me. However, if it takes 4 years to be released from corporate prison, then 4 years it is I suppose. Ms. Messiah, has promised me on of these:



A greenhouse. My dream house.

But back to reality, I must get up now and leave you, prison is calling. 4 more years, 4 more years...I said it 4 years ago and I say it now...yikes!

Meh,
Cow punk

Echoes and silence, patience and grace

Sunday, I guess I have to make due. I had no Saturday as I had to work. I hate working Saturdays almost as much as I hate winter. At least I was paid for hating it. Winter does not pay. Today promises to be warm, sunny and beautiful. No signs of winter's impending doom, at least for the time being.

I am thinking about horse manure today. Odd, I know, but that's just the way I roll. It means I'm not in the city, I'm on the back of a bike with my arms wrapped around my man. I'm most likely on my way to the lake and I'm free to be me, even if only for a little while. It also inspires me to have patience, work hard at my hated corporate job, so that some day, I can own my own little patch of heaven, and smell horse manure every day and the animals, gardens, and green house can be my every day job. I want to be a farmer when I grow up and someday I will tell the corporate idiots to kiss my a$$ on it's way out of their locked doors.

The silence has been broken with a sweet whisper to hang on.

Hopefully, today, we will strap on the goggles and ride. I will smell the manure, freshly mowed grass, honey suckle and the sweetness that is Gil. I don't just badly want it, I need it. I need to feel the sunshine beat down upon me and the wind whip through my hair. I need to see the sun set over the lake, with my arms wrapped around the comfort, warmth and goodness that is this man and know all is right in my little corner of the world at least for the time being.

Live for today, don't worry about tomorrow, dream for the future.

Love,
Cow Punk

Worthless Wednesday

I've been thinking about posting for a couple of days...but I've not had words or thoughts that are coherent lately. Nothing exciting has happened. I got a cell phone...blah. Who gets a cell phone that doesn't have any words to say? Me, that's who.

Life is just so very boring right now. September always seems to be the most boring month. I don't think I care for September. I can't recall a time that I ever cared for September. Summer is winding down, fall is upon us, which can only lead to winter. I hate winter. I hate snow, I hate ice. No flowers, cold, meaningless sun, I age 10 years in 3 mos.. winter who needs it? Meh
Maybe I'll just spend all winter talking on my cell phone. Maybe I'll have something to say by then, or someone to even say it to.

Sorry, I'm a drag on this worthless Wednesday. It happens sometimes though. Especially, when you have had a bad 2 weeks. How can you have 2 weeks that are the most wonderful of your life and then have 2 of the worst? I don't understand. Maybe I need to take a walk with the dog. The dog always loves me no matter what stupid thing I manage to do next.

I've thought of something good to come of this week, actually 2. I managed to emote my feelings to someone that is important to me that is not a member of my family...which has led to total silence from this person and two, I paid my car off.

The silence is deafening.

Well, I've managed to totally bum myself out, so I will not torture you any longer.

Hope everyone is well..........

Love,
Cow Punk

VS or something like that......

There is nothing quite like finding a pair of sweat pants in the dryer that say pink across the ass. They can only belong to my 15 yo daughter. Oh, it only hurts me when I cry.

Everybody cut footloose

HAPPY SATURDAY!!! Saturday is my very favorite day of the week. Specifically, Saturday morning when there is no movement in the house but the dog pacing the floor. This is his way of reminding me he hasn't had enough to eat. What he doesn't understand but I know full well is that there is NEVER enough for him, he would eat until he puked, making me a very unhappy mama dog.

Anyway, Saturday mornings are not for dog puke...They are for saying what's on my mind in a some what cohesive manner. Which is sometimes difficult depending on the week leading to my favorite day. This last week was a good learning/thinking week for me about friendship, love, hope, faith, family, death and embracing reality. Also lia, um I mean politicians.

Last weekend, I had what my beautifully funny friend Alias Liz calls a mini vaca. They are wonderful little things. Saturday afternoon I drove to Gil's house, Gil is hot teacher, but I don't really feel right calling him that now. Ok, that's a lie because he really is a hot teacher. But now, he's so much more than that. Anyway, I just wanted you to know his name. Gil or Gilbert depending on what I'm conveying to him. Gilbert Grape is one of my very favorite movies...and sometimes being with my Gilbert is like being in that movie with out the enormous mama. and no one has yet to climb anything that I'm aware of. I say this because there were several hours of my mini vaca that are quite fuzzy but I'll get to that later.

Saturday night we just really drove around, just he and I in his little truck (I'm still pondering why in the world a man that has to haul 3 kids around, one still in a car seat mind you, has such a tiny truck, in all fairness he has a huge truck also but it's not made for 3 kids either) Anyway, just he and I driving in the truck. Just he and I alone. We just talked and talked about important stuff, cut to the chase stuff, stuff about each other. I've noticed Gil and I talk with each other best when on or in some sort of vehicle, but put us face to face and we just stare at each other and smile. I know, gag, sorry. So anyway that was Saturday night, a good talk including the word forever without either of us jumping from a moving vehicle. We went to bed and slept, a nice, warm, safe sleep.

Now the funnest part and yeah I know it's not a real word, but if ain't can be a real word then so can funnest. The 4 wheelers, dirt bikes and MUD!!! I haven't played in mud since I was a very small child. I think 5 was when I decided it would be a good idea to eat one of the numerous mud cakes I made (it was not a good idea and created a life long aversion to mud) . My granny would save the little bama pie tins and encourage me to play in the mud. I will be a much better grandmother than mother as I learned from the best. So back to the topic at hand....I jumped on the back of the 4 wheeler with my man and off we went, he drove me around and around and suddenly stopped. He got off and told me to go, he's crazy. I'd never even been on a 4 wheeler, much less driven one. He knew this. But hey, if he's crazy enough to let me, I'm crazy enough to try. He explained the clutch, which I only heard 1/2 of and off I went. I did pretty good at first, except the clutch thing. I drove down the road and pretty soon, Gil's twin brother was behind me, he was checking on me. And that was good because I didn't know how I was going to turn around. I need a big stretch for that maneuver. So, I got turned around and magically I remembered the clutch!!! Faster and faster I went flying by Gil. I went on like I knew what I was doing, until I realized I was going to have to turn around again. This was a very narrow trail and the only way to turn around was to get off the beaten path, I also realized I didn't know how to down shift. Oops. But being that I was trained to be an army of one, or that I'm crazy, I swung off on to that 1/2 beaten path. I made it out alive. So alive. I didn't even down shift. So, I'm back on the right path, Gil comes flying past me this time and I flash him. Life is good.

Somewhere, sometime I end up on the back of the 4 wheeler with Gil again, now Gil has not taken me in the mud up to this point. He has carefully avoided it and I know it's been a struggle for him. However, Thomas has already taken me through the mud on the dirt bike. I am obviously muddy, in fact I'm so muddy, I have taken off my tank top and am walking around in my bikini top and my jeans. I am 41 years old, I should maybe not be doing this. Somehow I am not caring at this point and I still don't. I also have my cowboy boots on, I feel like Lori Singer in Footloose. If you don't remember this movie, get the hell off my lawn, just kidding. Go youtube it or something.

So here we are on the 4 wheeler, I say, "let's get muddy baby". We do, I'm hiding my face and giggling like a little girl, so let's do it again. My memories are fuzzy, but something weird happened, and I was falling backwards (look ma, there's an airplane up in the sky) Gil and 4 wheeler are coming down on me fast. It was alright for Gil to come down, but I wanted no part of that 4 wheeler. The next thing I remember Twin brother is there, catching the thing, I have the most awesome souvenir of the day, and Gil is mortified. I don't know why he's morified, I'm not hurt except for a scratch on my back and if I hadn't been living in Footloose fantasy land, I wouldn't have my awesome souvenir. Anyway, we got back on, had an adventure and he dropped me off. For some reason at this point, I steal a 3/4 bottle of rum and proceed to drink it straight. I have not done this since High School and not without disastrous results. I swore I would never again. So much for never. The rest of the day is really very fuzzy, except for Gil treating me like I was 6 again in the sweetest way, losing him somewhere on the lake for an hour, the boat filling with water, finally seeing Gil again, and fishing for what seemed hours...oh and Mexican music. What vacation is complete with out it?

Then it was over and it was time to drag myself back home. I'd had such a good time hanging out with Gil and his family. I didn't really want to leave, but at the same time, I missed my home and family, I also missed my toothbrush that I had forgotten to bring. Yes, it was 2 days without a toothbrush, I was Lori Singer with yellow teeth and bad breath and no shower. I came home and washed it all off, became cow punk again, and hung out with my own family. It was a lovely day.

Wednesday brought a death to my life. Someone my daughter loved very much. I never met him, but I call him my friend, as he was so very good to my child. I cried for him and his family when I got the news. It was a very cleansing cry. I am grateful he passed through our lives.

Amid all this chaos, friendships were blooming and renewing, and I am very thankful for it. I have missed my friends dearly and needed my angels.

Faith, love and hope and good old reality are knocking at my door, I'm finally going to invite them in.

I was going to rant about politic and politicians but right now they don't seem so very important in the grand scheme of things. Of course they are, but this year more than ever, I feel like I'm watching the Presidential version of American Idol. It saddens me that this is what it has become. I want to blame Bush, but really he's just a product of us Amuricans. I'm only going to say this and then I'll take off my tin foil hat. Please, please, take a good hard look at Sarah Palin. She is not what she appears to be. She is not about you, she is all about herself. I'm backing off my soap box now and removing my hat.

I need to clean my kitchen, funky smells are arising. Hug your family, relish your time and call your friends....life is very short and changes in the blink of an eye.

Love,
Cow Punk

Your Weekend WTF moment .........

This is an actual conversation I had with one of my neighbors as I was walking last night.

Idiot Neighbor: Is that a dog?
Me: No, it's a lion masquerading as a dog, and actually this here lion in disguise as a dog, is really a creature called a Goobie from Planet Nimrod. But, shhhh, don't tell anyone ok?

Enter at your own risk

So, I'm supposed to be cleaning and dusting, vacuuming and polishing, washing and warberling...no wait, no warberling, that's for later. Anyway, I don't WANT to do any of those things. I WANT to sit here and drink my wine and clear my mind. But you see, I have company coming tomorrow, I've just found cob webs in my cabinet where I keep all the necessities of life (garlic triscuits, chips, bread for peanut butter and jelly sammiches, ramen noodles, etc, etc), I think cobwebs mean I have not had enough of the necessities and this will HAVE to change and soon. But when gas costs 3 zillion $ per gallon somethings gotta go the way side. Oh and I'm leaving tomorrow and not coming back until Monday afternoon. This means I will not have time to follow my normally scheduled drudgery. I am off to the lake, swimming, boats, 3 wheelers, motorcycles, and fun for a change. Right now I'm wondering what one takes to the lake, a swim suit obviously, but what else? I am not a lake person but now dating a person who is. And dating is that really the right word? I'm not sure yet.

So, I have baseball, politics and getting the hell out of dodge on my mind tonight. Both candidates reek of desperation. I don't like either of them and am sorely disappointed that out of millions of people this is the best we get. Baseball because my team is actually winning this year. I can't say more as I am terribly superstitious that it might all change if I brag about it. So just once: GO CUBBIES!!!! Can you sense the desperation?

While, I'm still tending bar here, I just wanted to thank Miss Foolery for stopping in for an ale, I'm sure glad she found her way here. And thank you too if you have found your way here...and apologies to all in advance.

Say good night Gracie

Good night Gracie

Love,
Cow Punk

Mexican dresses

I noticed something last weekend when I was getting my Chinese food from the little strip mall that's been there since the dawn of time and I keep forgetting to mention it. Since I'm sitting here waiting for Hot teacher to call and finalize the wedding plans, I thought I could mention it now.

There is a Mexican clothing boutique around the corner from the Chinese place ( we're really international here in Tulsy town) anyway, I first noticed all the really beautiful, brightly colored dresses, then I noticed how big all the mannequins in the window were. I wondered where the proprietors of this shop had managed to find them. I concluded they came from Mexico where women are still allowed to have curves. I might go in there sometime as I have curves (yes, this might be a nice way of saying I carry a little weight or maybe not, you'll never know) I'm thinking I might actually find a pair of jeans that fit in this little shop. That would be lovely.

So not really, Hot teacher who will (maybe, I say maybe because I like this moniker and he is hot) now and forever be called by his name, which is Gil, Gil, is not calling to finalize wedding plans, we just met a month ago and just had our first date last Sunday. I'm crazy cool, but more cool than crazy, if ya know what I mean. He's actually calling to finalize our lunch plans for tomorrow. Although, I am not opposed to marrying him, now, right now and I have had a sever allergic reaction to anything that might remotely have to do with marriage, for the last 14 years. My friend Jen, is always sending me pictures of wedding cakes, dresses, place to get married....she wasn't even getting married and looking at dresses. WTF? I'm happy to report she is now engaged and she is in her own words, just today, STUPENDOUS. I had doubts about her future husband, but now I am simply just happy for her. I think this might be the first time in 7 years that she and I have both been happy at the same time.

My oldest son, who is named Zacary (see, I told you trendy and misspelled i blame it on the morphine) just came and told me he was down to 244lbs. Now this might seem a lot to some of you but since Trendy Misspelled was one topping the scales at almost 300, it is really quite a triumph for him. TM has just gotten his second real girl friend and he is almost 20 years old. Her name is Jasmine, which is what I wanted to name my daughter. Things are good in TM's world.

What else am I musing about? I'll tell you oompa loompas. Yep, that's it. Gil and I have a mutual acquaintance. He had not seen her in a while and about the same time I was saying she looks like an OL, he was asking if she still looked like an OL. Sad and mean I know, but if you knew this person and the hatefulness that pores out of her orange skin, you would totally understand.

Well, I've gotta go see a man about a horse, so ya'll kick back, have a drink or a dilly bar and I'll see ya on the flip side.

Love,
Cow punk

And, he used to be a fireman

Me: So, Hot teacher is feeling awkward about this whole thing.
Wyatt: What?
Me: you know awkward about dating your mama
Wyatt: Haven't we been through this before?
Me: Yes, but that was me feeling awkward and he used to be a fireman
Wyatt: Oh
Me: So?
Wyatt: yeah, it's cool. As long as everyone's happy , it's all good.
Me: I'm happy
Wyatt: so is he
Me: Ahh really?
Wyatt: Word, can I go now?

Phone conversation with hot teacher

HT, hello?
Me: Hi
HT: What are you doing?
Me: pouring a glass of wine, what are you doing?
HT: I'm at Wal-mart
Me: I'm sorry
HT: is everything ok?
Me: yes, if I was any more perfect, I'd be a statue
HT: What does that mean?
Me: Did I tell you I was drinking wine?
HT: Yes, do you think that's really a good idea after the whips* last night? You aren't making any sense.
Me: Call me later when you've departed hell.
HT: Ok, you sure you'll be conscience?
Me: Will you marry me?
HT: Not tonight, maybe tomorrow.
Me: You can't marry me tonight anyway, I'm a statue.
HT: Oh boy, I'll call you later, stay awake, don't lapse into a coma.
Me: If I do, will you give me mouth to mouth?
HT: I have to go, I'll call you later to discuss our wedding plans

*Whips: whiskey mixed with pepsi. yeah, I know, sounds like a bad idea even on a good day.

I'll take psycho emo for a $1000 Alex....

It's been a while since I tended the bar here, I wonder if any one was filling in? I don't think so. Although my good friend Alias Liz did stop by and say hello. Hope someone filled your glass Liz.

See there were so many happenings this week, that I was just exhausted. First, I'd won, then I hadn't won, then I won again and then I hadn't won. It was a roller coaster ride of conflicting emotions. My kids would call it Psycho emo. Perhaps.
It actually was just a glitch in the cyberspace- time continuum.


Somewhere, sometime in my emo madness, I decided in the words of the great smashing pumpkins, I would be some body's fool this year. So, I just flat out told hot teacher that I was making excuses about welding to call him, but that it was true I knew nothing of welding or welding supplies. I told him this yesterday. I gave him my phone number. His response was to give me his phone number and told me to call him. What? No, I might be old fashion but I still think boys should call girls. He also makes me a little tongue tied. Normally, I could chew a person's ear off with no problem, but he freezes my brain so to speak, but hey I've already made a fool of myself, so I guess game on. He's also emailed 5 or 6 times since playing the fool. Normally, this would aggravate the hell's fire out of me, but nope, not this time. I like it. I take it as a sign that he might be willing to be a fool too and quite honestly, I needed the attention. The ex nearly stripped away any confidence I had. I know a person can only make you feel inferior if you allow them too, but sometimes you can't help but allow it. Not anymore though, enough of him and his bad vibes. He can just go to hell-mart for all I care.




I'm closing up shop for now. Thanks for stopping by and have a round on the house.



Love,
Cow punk

Hey, howdy, yep, I'm sposed to be a polishin' but I just remembered I forgot to mention Mr. Goshorn. He stopped by last week to educate me, Goshorn is pronounced Goss-horn. Thank you so much dear, my brain is now a little less confused.

Somedays, I don't really want to be the queen...

I relented and took my daughter the princess, shopping yesterday. Our first stop was Ross Dept. Store. Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways. 5 ts for her under 7 bucks and 1 lamp shade for me under 6$ Hellmart has the same one for 10$ This one is actually nicer, cloth instead of cardboard. Suck my toe Devil.

Then it was over to the mall, narrowing escaping Old Navy...whew. Little did I know of the horrors that were in front of me.

Walking through the mall, I wondered how in the world so many parents had become zombie clones of their children? This is wrong to me on so many levels. Parents are supposed to be the example. Parents are supposed to teach the children manners, common sense, good judgement, human decency. Adults are here to lead, not to follow. I am not a perfect parent by far, but I do not feel the need to be my teenage children's peer/friend. I prefer to be their Mother and guide.

Zombie moms please remember what has been seen, can not be unseen. Please pull up your jeans and if you must wear that little t-shirt, head on over to Penny's and invest in a good bra. They are usually 2 for 1. Love, the living

We were out of the mall very quickly. She knew where she wanted to go, got a ten$ off coupon if you tried on jeans...bingo! It all ended quickly and mostly painless. I'd just like to give a "shout out" to "Steph, the sunpac clerk" she was awesome, at least that's what she said.

We then headed to Academy for tennis shoes. We were looking at them at the mall, when Jordan woke up and announced they were 20$ cheaper at Academy. She immediately went back into trance right after. Jordan reminds me of a coo coo clock. Anyway, it was enough to convince me. The sports store was better in the regard to parents. No one was southern fried zombied. My faith was somewhat restored. It was restored enough to forget about it and go into complete shock that someone would spend 48$ on 9 pairs of sports booties for a teenage girl. Even if I could afford to do that, I would not. The six pack at Hellmart for 5.99$ will do just fine for the likes of us. The dog's just going to carry it off in his mouth anyway.

Academy also gave me the chance to look at Hammocks. Thank goodness for Coo-coo clocks. I'm going to have a hammock some day, hanging between the big Elms. I'll lay in it facing my garden, all will be right with the world, at least for awhile.

The bank sent me a letter informing me I had one last car payment, thank you for all that interest you paid us, it was a pleasure screwing you letter on Thursday. I was so happy, I cried. I celebrated with an 11$ bottle of wine and Chinese food. Now, it's off to figure out how that extra money will be used. Mostly towards my house....I can't wait to pay it off, or at least get the payment down a bit. No PMI, sure would be a lovely thing. Then I can start saving for the El Camino that I'm going to drive off into the sunset in. When we do finally drive off together, he'll be all mine.

Thanks for stoppin by the ol' place. I've got to lay a coat of wax on this old bar now, let me know if you need anything, I'll just be right over there.

Off to see the wizard

Hot for teacher. I can't this damn song out of my head.

I drove around Jen's neighborhood for 45 minutes and never found her house.

No really, so you see the problem, right? Damn, I had a card and everything, now if I only had a brain. I think she ditched me anyway. She was probably going to spend money. She's fabulous at it.

I was smart enough to make it to the movie theater and find SGFChristine. We had a bite to eat, it was a lovely time. The Batman (it is stressed in the movie that he is THE Batman) is a good movie. Christian Bale is nice eye candy, but he does speak strangely with that mask on. Heath Ledger is really brilliant. Yes, lots of hype surrounds him, but he shines for the last time. It's a dark, violent movie, but I liked it. I cheered at the end, I was the only one.

I did talk to Mr. Moore, yes, his name is Mr. Moore. I find it deliciously ironic. We talked about my son mostly. He did say I could call him anytime, for any reason. I think I'll call him and tell him I'm hungry. I gave him my home number and told him to call me for any reason. But unless, he's calling about Son, is that really ethical? It would be a nice change to see a teacher dating the parent instead of the student.

I did ask how big a truck I would need for the cactus, he danced around it. I guess he didn't think I took many things seriously.

The soul eating frenzy of High School starts in 1 day. It's my daughter's first year and my son's 1st year of Sr. High. This should be fun.

I'm going to keep it short since I rambled so long Saturday. It was the excitement of Olympic Ribbon Twirling, I must confess.

You might've noticed the name of the joint changed, it's the same old red room but a little friendlier. Hello instead of goodbye, Come on in, put your feet up and stay awhile.

It would take a big truck to get that to your house....

I head over to visit the girls at go fug yourself every day. They make my day somewhat more tolerable. So this morning, I noticed they had a new post entitled, your fugment of Zen. I can always use a little zen, so I clicked. The girls were lavishing their delicious fug praise upon Courtney Peldon's brand of fugly. Courtney Peldon is a childhood actress, whom I believe did mostly lifetime movies. Being that it's early and I'm somewhat fuzzy, I unwittingly click on the below movie. While I think CPel gives a fine performance I am stunned, STUNNNNNED at Swoozie Kurtz's amazing performance. This movie is a train wreck, you don't want to look, but you just can't seem to stop. It hypnotizes you, and paralyzes you, you know it's wrong, but you can't help yourself. I had fond thoughts of Miss Swoozie until now. She did appear in one of my favorite movies, Bubble Boy.






Wasn't Swoozie terrifyingly stunning? You made need some of this



and a little eye candy will make ya good as new.




Well, I guess I'll return to my pleasant thoughts of Swooze, she did lead me to thinking of Jake. I rarely think of him, but he is a cutie pie and I wouldn't kick him out of my kitchen.

I've recently bounded out a rabbit hole. I think it was Thursday I bounded, I had to come out. Wyatt had orientation at Tech, and it was very important for Wyatt's future that we go. See, Wyatt's got his life planned out already at 17, I am so proud of him, he is such a good kid. I want to keep him on the right track until he gets there.

So, I dressed nicely that morning, well, nicely for a saloon girl. I actually was going to go in a t-shirt and jeans because I had new sneakers, silver, blue, Judy Jetson like shoes. But, at the last minute, I changed my mind. Anyway, we got there late, the little glass classroom was full and so I just meandered around the shop area, not paying attention to the teacher. Imagine that.

In the shop area, there was a giant welded cactus. Like a magnet, I was drawn to it. I'm still unsure of my feelings for it. It was at this time I noticed , it was very hot in there, so I pulled out, ironically enough, a Dwight Yoakam CD, to use as a fan. Usually, I'm Dwight's fan and he's having the opposite effect on me.

All of the sudden, I remember I'm supposed to be listening to someone, so I look up at that someone and he took my breath away. I had all but forgotten what a beautiful feeling that is. I think though, it complicates things that he is my son's instructor. What do you think? By the way, he gave me the cactus, if I could move it. I'm not sure what I would do with an 8 foot, ton weighing, rusty, metal cactus, but I'm sure I could find a place for it here at the saloon.

The future's lookin so bright that I gotta wear shades. yes, I shamelessly stole that. Today, I get to spend time with two of my soul sisters. I haven't seen either in a long time. I'm very happy to see them both and as a bonus, I'm going to see the Dark Knight with my stupid girlfriend Christine, she is neither stupid or named Christine...discuss. And even though Gotham will be dark and sinister, I'm looking forward to going somewhere else for a while.

If you got this far, thanks for letting me ramble on, I do appreciate it. Have a wonderful, peace and love filled weekend.

only slightly cracked

AliasLiz, this is for you...........perhaps I will someday have my own Arlis.......with that said, AliasLiz had been gracious enough to pop my comments cherry after suggesting I might be slightly "cracker" brained. i love you Juggernaut, you are my heroine. Actually, she suggested she might be cracker brained but it has been discovered, I'm the one. The point is, if you should meander through, please say hey, howdy, they found water on the moon, I've been here or you have comments about Donnie Osmond. I also love you DY. You are my hero.

I have just come in from sitting on my very own porch (yes, the one I have trouble paying for on time), where I observed 3 wood moths having a threesome...if I had not had a threesome of my own with the Crown Royal I would write a fancy french word, but well, you know. I also observed 2 teenaged children walking about my porch asking for donations for their college fund/church. I had to turn them away as I had spent all my money on the afore mentioned whiskey. I felt bad, really, I did, I hope they couldn't smell the hooch on my breath, but I did send them away with a cool, refreshing drink of......


Water, people.

Before I was so rudely interrupted by the moths and children, I was thinking of the rationality of my day or really the irrationality of my day. You see, I put my name in the fish bowel to meet my obsession au jour, in Colorado. What? I have no plans to go to Colorado any time soon. But if I won the lottery, you can bet your spurs I would go on a moments notice........which is about what a person can expect from the man I call sugababy. Yes, sexiest cowboy walking the planet earth (you know who you are), this is you, should you ever wander through my little world. Now, I have had many obsessions through out my life, starting with Donnie Osmond. Please don't hold this against me.....I was 7, I didn't know any better and Donnie was so cute. Personally, I think he's still just a cutie pie. The next obsession I can remember through the haze of my life is Robin Zander. I was lucky enough to meet Robin, he saved me from certain debauchery.....ok not, I totally made that up....I would've never slept with him. After Robin, memories are fuzzy, Nikki Sixx perhaps? Ah yes, Nikki said I had the looks to kill......then the next one is



Which I will add, goes on to this day. I love this man. I will love him until they cremate me. I once dreamed he was my husband before his name was known to me. He and I recently shared a "moment". We gave each other the universal head bangers, "I love you man" sign. It is a moment I shall cherish forever.

Ok, so I've gotten lost thinking of all these crushes. I think the point is, do you really want to meet your fantasy? I don't think I do. I adore him. I wouldn't want that to end. He is the proverbial cat's pajamas for me. He's taken my heart from shattered to broken to only slightly cracked, shown me the ex is an ass who is not worth the scum on the bottom of my shoes and still loves me and wants me back, cured my insomnia, sings me to sleep every night, given me pearl snaps, red cowboy boots and wife beaters. He's made me sassy and beautiful again despite what the neighbors think. No, I think I will remove my name from the lottery and hope fate will intervene.

frightened by punctuation......

Saturday morning, already August, it's strangely quiet in the house I have trouble paying on time for. I'm enjoying the strangeness as later I will have to go face my little world at a shopping mall, more specifically Hot Topic. I have a love-hate affair going on with this little slice of hell. When I walk through the doors of said slice, the 80's come alive, color, shape and cheeziness run amok. It's a time warp for me. It takes me back through my life basically. I'm blissfully happy for about 5 minutes. This is how long it takes me to run the 25 yard dash back to reality. In five minutes time, I've been run into, possibly shoved, stepped on, and surrounded by teenage boys just "standing there" enchanted with the beauty that is a a music icon T-shirt. I wouldn't be bothered by this, because I too am enchanted, it's the only reason I agree to go there. I just wish they weren't so rude. Yes, I know they are hormonally challenged idiots, but really, please a little human decency is all I'm asking for. Where is all this leading....it's tax holiday weekend, meaning it's back to school shopping day, joy to the world. I only have one kid to buy for as my daughter decided she would rather go to the lake. I told her if we didn't shop today, we would not be shopping at all. The problem is, I totally understand her decision. She is like me and doesn't like to shop. The lake and friends is so much more appealing. She's a get what you came for and let's go kind of girl, unless she takes a notion. We'll shop later after school starts....yes, I will give in.

So, it will be just my 17 yo son and I for the day. It will be fairly quick and painless. He wants t-shirts and shoes. Hot Topic here we come! Then Wal-mart, yes, I have to visit purgatory today. Underwear and socks, school supplies, no tax...yep, it's unavoidable.... but having survived purgatory and mall hell, we'll celebrate with a Pepsi and gum from QT. We'll head home, call it an awesome day, then head our separate ways. Son will have a smile and I will be a little poorer.
The smile will make it all worthwhile.

Well, the strangeness has become well, just strange now, so I'm off to shower and face the madness. Peace out.

Everything is relative...........

For the last two weeks I have been researching my family tree. My last name is the 3rd most popular name in the U.S, but my great grandfather, luckily enough, had a very unusual given name. His name was Friend. We thought maybe he was a Quaker, a Mennonite or Amish. As it turns out, his family were just a bunch of fruit loops. Old Friend Clarence had an Uncle named Goshorn. I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how one would pronounce that name with out sounding like a complete dumb ass. Is it Gosh-orn, Gos-horn, Go-shorn, maybe the o is long and he's goos-horn, goo-shorn, but you know, his nick name had to be Gosh. So if some one was expressing surprise at him, they would've without a doubt exclaimed Gosh, Gosh! or Golly Gosh, Gosh! or Gosh Golly (gee wiz) Gosh!
Another possible relative was named Sleeze. And by Gosh, I'm serious, someone named the poor child Sleeze. We have an assortments of Georges, James, Rachels, Ellas, Alberts, Marys and lots of Catherines and Anns. Catherine was extremely popular. But, hey at least Catherine was a real name and not something cute and made up by a trendy, oh my gosh I have to be different than everyone else, let's spell it wrong! mother of today. And really I'm sorry, but, if you have one of those names, you know it's true, so don't get your panties in a wad and don't throw stuff at me. It's just that I prefer stripper names for my children. Alright, I didn't set out to give the poor thing a stripper name, I really wanted to give her a hippie name like Aura or Ariana or Jasmine. Yes, right or wrong, I really wanted Jasmine Blue, I wanted to call her Jazzy when she was small and Jazz when she grew up.
Oh well, she has a beautiful name, given to her by her brother and too bad all those strippers vilified it and of course my deepest apologies if any strippers happen to stop by. I should also say I have a poor child who has a trendy, popular name that is misspelled. I will say in my defense however, he was named this name before it was trendy and it is misspelled because his mother had a brain freeze. But hey, I had just been through 48 hours of labor, spent 10 of those hours at drill (Army), 6 hours of intense labor, watched Beetlejuice for the upmteenth time and refused drugs for my pain, I wasn't exactly in the mood for a spelling bees.
Anyway, I have met my 5th cousin, trying to find the proverbial needle in a hay stack, and he has sent me a picture of my GreatX2 grandmother when she was a wee lassie and also a picture of my GreatX3 grandparents. Real treasures that I am so lucky to have.
It's also interesting to note, that even though he and I are 4 or 5 generations apart, we still look enough alike to be, well cousins, by golly by gosh.
People love and respect each other, because I tell you true, we're all relative.

Wow! My very own blog...whoda thunk?

I've been sitting at this computer for hours reading other's blogs......and thought what the hell. I have things on my mind, such as; why am I a slave to the dog, why did I think it was a good idea to acquire 3 cats, why do I only want Scotch and fritos for dinner, knowing very well how I will feel in the morning, , why is my 19 yo son sleeping on my couch showing me his crack at 8:30 pm, when he has a perfectly good room and bed? A better question might be why is he sleeping at 8:30 pm?

The dog is laying his head in my lap, looking at me as if to say, why aren't we walking? I'm really very sorry I pooped in the weird neighbor's yard and is it really my fault you weren't prepared? I'm a dog, I poop where I want. You know this, I've been here for 2 years now. This is all your fault and I'm being punished for your ineptitudeness.

I'm very excited, tonight I actually made my house payment on time for the first time since George Bush took office.........ok, that's a slight exaggeration, the first time in....well, since flower planting time began. I can't help it, I am a flower junkie and as long as the payment is made before the 1st of next month, I'll still have a yard to place the flowers in. Which brings me to what the hell is wrong with my petunia's? Every Petunia I have touched has turned to green dust. I don't know. You know that brings me to how much I dislike my backyard. The grass is over grown, the trees are over grown, there is dog poop everywhere...yes, back to poop...sorry. The problem is I don't know where to start back there, it is just such a mess it over-whelms me, or perhaps it under-whelms me? And on top of that, my ick neighbors have a huge yard with a pool, while I have a postage stamp with a huge tree with broken branches right in the middle of the stamp. I know this is something I should have thought of before I purchased the house, but I knew not of the under and over whelming the tree would bring.

I am also excited because this psycho garden fairy cow punk is going to see the Foos tomorrow in OKC...........yay PGFCP!!!