Morning rant

I got up early to write this morning and now I have nothing to say. I had really active weird dreams all night. All of my family and ex boyfriend made and appearance. Ex was having windshield problems. He also had a nice old house. He does in fact have an old house...but not really a nice one. I'd really rather not dream of him. I'm thinking a lot of new boyfriend, so not really sure why I wouldn't dream of him....I'd much rather.

Two old friends dropped by in the last week, that made me really happy in an other wise week from hell. Seriously what a week. It started with me breaking my coffee pot. I hate that. It's the second one in about 3 mos. and 10 bucks to replace. Now ten bucks is not a lot really in the grand scheme of things, but at Christmas 2 bucks is a lot. Unless of course you are at the 2 buck saloon, which is not where we are. Maybe I should change the name of the joint? Also, I was sick Monday, my head felt as if it would be a relief if it would just go ahead and explode. Tuesday was alright I guess, I was quiet and did a lot of thinking. Yesterday I got up late (by choice) and then remembered I had to be at the school for a meeting in 45 min. That was lovely. Then last night I just let myself slip into a depression. It's ok though, I think I've slept it off. There really was no reason for it....anyway.
A friend has asked if I am planning a wonderful Christmas and truthfully, no I'm not. The best part of Christmas for me is the time off. We have 5 days off this year. Now that's what I call a Christmas present. The second best part of Xmas is when it's OVER. No, I still haven't gotten out all the pretties. This weekend. I have to, Christmas is at my house this year. Oh joy to the world.

I'm still thinking a lot about Hot teacher and he's thinking about me too, but not until after I pulled my fabulous disappearing act. Why do we have to do this to get them to wonder? My son says because women have a tendency to chatter at them. They tune us out but if it stops they miss the chatter. It sounds fairly viable. Especially after watching my Aunt and Uncle. Auntie is a pro at chatter but I did notice she turns her attention from Uncle quite often. He watches TV and if she doesn't say something directly to him for 10 min. he's up out of the chair seeking her attention. It's entertaining and educational. I'm really just an idiot when it come to men and relationships. The last relationship was one sided and I took two years in between. So. Also hot teacher and I are a lot a like and have been through very similar experiences. We have a tendency to react in similar fashions. I feel as if I am always dealing with myself when dealing with him. I haven't really dealt with myself in well, oddly enough about 2 years. I spent most of that time drunk anyway. I don't really feel like drinking anymore though. Talking to others who have been through a bad break up, I've come to the conclusion that getting drunk for extended periods of time is really just part of the healing process. I'm actually just ready to be standing in reality again. And dealing with it. I've found that reality can actually sometimes be a nice place. Unless I'm at work.

I'm going to be seriously looking for new employment after the first of the year. And having others look for me. I can really no longer tolerate going to that place and dealing with those people every day any more.

Thanks for reading my rants if you should stop by.

Love,
Cow Punk