Maybe this year

Another one bites the dust and another one gone and another one gone. It turned out to be not such a bad Christmas after all. I spent it with people I love and care about, there is nothing better that you could give me than that. I just want one more thing for the holidays and that's a nice new year's eve.

I spent the Eve having lunch with my daughter and shopping. What else do you do with your teenage daughter who you've just given money to? I'll tell you, you give the Rolling stone tongue to little old ladies at Sonic drive thrus. You mouth off at rude ass old ladies in huge Cadillac SUV, who nearly run over you in the Old time pottery parking lot, because rude ass can't wait to get to the grocery store to buy her cranberry juice for her cocktails later that evening. You make 16 yo daughter look at Comforter after comforter to help you buy just the right one. When she says to you in all seriousness, "Mom, this one is gorgeous, it's just not for me, it's too old", you know you have found the perfect one. You also have the "sex, please wait on it but if you find you just can't wait, please talk to me first, before you do it" talk. She promised on my grandmother's bible she would talk to me first. I'm thinking she means it. It was a very lovely day, I wish I had more of them with her. I think that's a wish I can make come true.

I spent Eve night with my Hot teacher and his son curled up on the couch watching Dog, the bounty hunter. It was a wedding episode. Good Lord....that guy doesn't have any ego problems, nor does his more than ample wife. Beth is a whole lotta woman. She could throw a man around and then kill him with her tatas. Those things were huge. HT likes the big tatas but he says hers scare him.

Hot teacher and I had our first fight the night before. Really, it wasn't a fight....it was me saying exactly what was on my mind and kicking his ass back in to shape. I figured that would be the last I would hear from him unless he was a glutton for punishment. He is, as it turns out, a glutton. I'm very happy that he is. He picked me up Wed night, I'm not sure why he picks me up, except he just gets so excited to see me. Anyway, when he picked me up he grunted, I said I've gained 10 lbs. He then bold faced lied to me and said he couldn't see one extra pound on me. I said you just grunted, have you ever grunted when you picked me up before? He said, can we just leave it at I think you're the sexiest most beautiful woman I know? End of conversation.

I walked into my bedroom last Sunday night to clean it because I was supposed to have company on Monday and yes, I was having company in my bedroom. I realized that the bedroom looked like it belonged to a 13 yo circus performer. Which I guess for the past two years, that's exactly what I've been . A 13 yo trapeze artist. My wonderfully awesome Aunt gave me 125.00 bucks for Christmas. I could do what ever I wanted with it. I thought about really expensive moisturizer, I thought about carpet cleaners, I thought about buying Christmas gifts with it. But Sunday night, I knew I would redo the big tent with it. A new comforter, a coat of paint, my grandma gave me two new end tables and 2 beautiful floor lamps. She also gave me a gorgeous mirror. Now all I need is a few more pillows, some new artwork, and viola, a room fit for a queen and company I might add. So this morning I am headed off to Hell mart for paint and all the things you need to paint a boudoir fit for a queen. Too bad I don't have lackey's to do the painting for me.

Was, not was, was.

Love,
Cow Punk

Maybe next year

It looks like Father Christmas puked all over my living room right now. I just can't seem to make myself do anything about it either. I mean it is getting there, but I just am not in the mood. I started this mess at 1 pm yesterday. Silly. Of course I slept in between. I know a good Martha would not sleep until the deco was complete, but Martha can either get her butt over here and finish it or she can kiss it my ample backside. I am at least down to getting all the empty boxes back to the storage area...read the garage. I really don't like Christmas, more than usual this year. I keep hoping for a good Christmas, maybe next year.




Standing in the middle of life with my plans behind me.

Love,
Cow Punk

Morning rant

I got up early to write this morning and now I have nothing to say. I had really active weird dreams all night. All of my family and ex boyfriend made and appearance. Ex was having windshield problems. He also had a nice old house. He does in fact have an old house...but not really a nice one. I'd really rather not dream of him. I'm thinking a lot of new boyfriend, so not really sure why I wouldn't dream of him....I'd much rather.

Two old friends dropped by in the last week, that made me really happy in an other wise week from hell. Seriously what a week. It started with me breaking my coffee pot. I hate that. It's the second one in about 3 mos. and 10 bucks to replace. Now ten bucks is not a lot really in the grand scheme of things, but at Christmas 2 bucks is a lot. Unless of course you are at the 2 buck saloon, which is not where we are. Maybe I should change the name of the joint? Also, I was sick Monday, my head felt as if it would be a relief if it would just go ahead and explode. Tuesday was alright I guess, I was quiet and did a lot of thinking. Yesterday I got up late (by choice) and then remembered I had to be at the school for a meeting in 45 min. That was lovely. Then last night I just let myself slip into a depression. It's ok though, I think I've slept it off. There really was no reason for it....anyway.
A friend has asked if I am planning a wonderful Christmas and truthfully, no I'm not. The best part of Christmas for me is the time off. We have 5 days off this year. Now that's what I call a Christmas present. The second best part of Xmas is when it's OVER. No, I still haven't gotten out all the pretties. This weekend. I have to, Christmas is at my house this year. Oh joy to the world.

I'm still thinking a lot about Hot teacher and he's thinking about me too, but not until after I pulled my fabulous disappearing act. Why do we have to do this to get them to wonder? My son says because women have a tendency to chatter at them. They tune us out but if it stops they miss the chatter. It sounds fairly viable. Especially after watching my Aunt and Uncle. Auntie is a pro at chatter but I did notice she turns her attention from Uncle quite often. He watches TV and if she doesn't say something directly to him for 10 min. he's up out of the chair seeking her attention. It's entertaining and educational. I'm really just an idiot when it come to men and relationships. The last relationship was one sided and I took two years in between. So. Also hot teacher and I are a lot a like and have been through very similar experiences. We have a tendency to react in similar fashions. I feel as if I am always dealing with myself when dealing with him. I haven't really dealt with myself in well, oddly enough about 2 years. I spent most of that time drunk anyway. I don't really feel like drinking anymore though. Talking to others who have been through a bad break up, I've come to the conclusion that getting drunk for extended periods of time is really just part of the healing process. I'm actually just ready to be standing in reality again. And dealing with it. I've found that reality can actually sometimes be a nice place. Unless I'm at work.

I'm going to be seriously looking for new employment after the first of the year. And having others look for me. I can really no longer tolerate going to that place and dealing with those people every day any more.

Thanks for reading my rants if you should stop by.

Love,
Cow Punk

Bras, cops, smiles and a lot of confusion

All that talk of bras yesterday and I didn't buy a single one. Not one. None fit. I did however come across a cop shopping for bras. She was a 36D, she said she was also having a hard time finding one to fit. I said aren't we lucky and she said she couldn't complain, she'd made it that way. Great, cops with boob jobs, I feel so much safer. Of course, they might save her someday. I guess it's back to Hellmart for me. I saw a bra there last week I loved. Go figure.

Then of course there was the Burka wearing girl at Victoria's Secrets. That just really blew my mind. A shop full of skivvies and this girl is covered from head to toe. It seemed a bit hypocritical, is that word I'm looking for? I had an urge to ask her if she was wearing VS under that 50 lbs of robe. I suppressed the urge. She seemed like a very nice girl and the only sales clerk to actually speak to me. I also suppressed the urge to spend 50 bucks on a bra.

This is a true story. I have a friend who is over weight, she went in to VS to shop for a friend and the sales girl (who was not wearing a burka) asked her to leave as she was a distraction to the skinny customers and they had nothing for her anyway. So I guess the moral of the story is VS is discriminatory of fat people but not religion? Hmmm.

I did buy some outrageously expensive make-up. Prescriptives? I think. It's just tinted moisturizer. I don't know why it costs so much. I told the girl at the counter I was very confused by make up and she said, Oh, I see that. What? I walked away. Buuuuuuuut, I came back, because I love Estee Lauder and this is Estee Lauder for people with weirdo skin (and because as usual I couldn't get anyone to help me at the Clinique counter, which was ok, because I remembered while waiting I really didn't like Clinique moisterizer anyway) . Make up girl looked as if she might be a bit confused about make up as well, so I forgave her. Plus she gave me some free stuff and I always dig free stuff. This make up better be a magic elixir for the price.

What surprised me most yesterday is how friendly everyone was. Christmas rush, everyone is broke and in a frenzy, yet there were smiles every where. Very nice, it warms this Ebeneezer Scrooge heart of mine.

I finished the day with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid...one of my all time faves, well really anything with Paul Newman is my favorite. I think there are not enough words in any language to describe how fantastically awesome I think he is.

Well, I'm out, I need to clean, clean so I can drag all the pretty Christmas deco out and make another mess :-)~

Love,
Cow Punk

Wait? What?

There was a girl working at Victoria Secret's in a Burka, yes a burka, traditional Muslim wear....I just have to ask WTF?

Dancing Hookers, pimps, wonky eyes, birthday correlation and silly putty

Saturday! Yay! No particular thing to do or anywhere to go. Going to shop for a new bra. It's exciting to me ok? I usually only get a bra once a year, well until I started buying Hellmart bras. I'd like to have a VS bra but I can't see myself spending 40-50 bucks on a bra. Although it would probably last a while longer than Ol happy, bouncy evil smiley face's bra. But, if I spent that much on a bra I'd have to buy a practical bra, you know beige, boring and that's not what I want. I want something red and lacy. I'm tired of practical lingerie. But on the other hand HT b/f hates bras and thinks they should be outlawed. I sent him the link to VS website but I don't think it did much to change his mind. He just doesn't care what it looks like, he takes it off of me and doesn't give it another thought. I prodded him a bit and he said red. I like it when he agrees with me.

I splurged last night and bought 20 bucks worth of lacy, silky panties. I can't remember the last time I did that....I always buy a package of 7 Hanes, cotton things. I hate them. I hate cotton undies. They'll never get their Hanes on me again! Take that Michael Jordan! He and I have the same birthday, we also share it with Deniece Richards, Taylor from the foos and Wonky eye Paris Hilton. Interestingly enough I also have a wonky eye. I can look in two different directions at the same time. Some call this freaky, I call it talent. I wonder if Michael, Taylor and Deniece have wonky eyes? Maybe everyone born on that day has a wonky eye? That day is actually a cusp between two Zodiac signs, maybe that's why our eyes are looking in two directions?

So, I took pictures of me in these silky lacy things to send to HT, yes, I do things like that. He likes it, and being that I'm border line narcissistic I like it too. Plus, I know he's going to look at porn, men like to look at scantily clad or naked women and I figure he might as well be looking at me.

So here I am running around in my undies, bra and thigh high fishnets and hooker shoes and the dog decides he must go out. Dog will sometimes not go out by himself even if he's crossing his knees to keep from having a accident. Can dogs cross their knees?
I threw on my pimp coat, it is a pimp coat, big, fake white fur with Dalmatian like spots, my son wore it to school for dress up career day and yes he went as a pimp. (disclaimer: son is not actually aspiring to be a pimp) I go outside in nothing but the pimp coat, undies, fishnets and bra. It's a good thing the neighbors couldn't see me, otherwise I'm quite sure they would've called the police.

911: what is your emergency?
Neighbor: There is a dancing hooker in my neighbor's yard!
911: Are you sure it's not your neighbor?
Neighbor: My neighbor never wears anything but gigantic baggy sweat pants and a huge baggy nike shirt. It's a dancing hooker I tell ya. Quick, send a squad car!

The dog finishes, we come in and I upload all the pics to send to HT and it won't go...error message. I guess my ass was too big to send across the internet universe. I stopped trying after about the 6th time because I thought what if it's actually gone and he has 6 emails full of nothing but my ass? What if he thinks I'm smoking crack?

He's a little perverted and I'm a little narcissistic but I don't think 60 pics of my back side is necessarily a good thing.

It may be a good thing the email didn't go anyway. The relationship is not feeling exactly right and maybe it's time for me to fly. Or maybe not. I'm not sure how I feel or how he feels and there is never really a time for us to have a talk. Maybe it's just time to step away for a while, maybe when he's gotten his life back we can start again. The problem for me is I don't see him ever getting his life back and as much as I care for him, my patience is running very thin. I definitely need more than he can give me right now. Lately, I'm feeling like even if he could give it to me, he wouldn't. Or maybe it's just me? I also feel like I'm entertaining him all of the time...which is fine for a narcissistic, attention seeking freak, but I like to be entertained as well and he's not filling that need. He's also not talking much, however, I know he is quite stressed right now and really not feeling or acting like himself. Am I making excuses? Honestly I don't know.

Another problem I have is there are not many guys I flip for. There are guys I like but none that completely make my heart do cartwheels. HT is rare for me. So, I'm sort of in a quandary. Do I date some of these other guys and maybe I'll fall for one of them after I get to know them? Do I settle for someone who doesn't give me butterflies? I don't think I can, I need the butterflies, I need the cartwheels and my eyes absolutely have to adore the person I'm with. Maybe that's shallow, but it's the way it is. I guess, I'll just wait it out at least for a little while. I do think he's worth the time and maybe I can stretch my patience a little thinner. I'll just pretend I'm silly putty. And I ask you what are the odds of finding another man who doesn't think my boobs need to be pushed and shoved up under my chin to be sexy and my pot belly is cute? The odds are slim me thinks.

I feel compelled to tell you, there was no one home last night but me. No pimp son, no 16 going on 35 daughter or the son who would live in my basement forever, if I had one. Nope, no, not, no one but me.

Love,
Cow Punk

***there was no vodak or any other type of liquor involved in any of these shenanigans***

Cheese

The cable guy left...finally. It took 6 hours and............there is now no sound coming from my TV. It worked fine when he left. Something happened when they loaded all the channels I guess. The phone works though. That's good, I guess, although I'm not much of a phone kind of girl myself. I sort of like the thought of no one but the peeps I want to have my phone number tho. I also got to watch tv from my bed last night. Although it was something dumb...House Haulin' I think. They moved a 100 yo old house made of logs and stone away from a 100 ft. cliff. It was very dramatic. And the man, bless his heart, he did really love that house. It kept raining and raining. They did get it moved though. YAY! for them. It was a very unique beautiful old house. I was actually hoping for If walls could talk tho...LOVE that show. If my walls could talk they would call me a dumb ass and tell me to get a handy man out here stat. Anyhoo....speaking of dumb asses....AT&T had the phone wiring so screwed up that my house could've burned down at any time. The main line wasn't even grounded. The thing is I've had them out here several times and not one time did any of the repair men notice??? The cable man may not have been exciting or cute, but at least he cared and knew wth he was doing. I was trying to think who this cable man looked like and he just looked like an extra from a viet nam era movie. Speaking of looking like....Vanna White? That woman has had so much plastic surgery she no longer looks like herself. Good Lord. I don't think I'd seen WOF in about 25 years. It was still as cheesy and boring as it ever was. My apologies if you like this show. I myself am a fan of The price is right. It is also cheesy as a quesadilla.

Well, the house has all the sudden been filled with teenagers....so my train of thought is completely busted.

Love,
Cow punk

Shelly's head

Well, I'm sitting here waiting for the cable guy to boot me out of this chair so he can install my internet, I thought, why not wax poetic? Trouble is I'm not waxy and I'm certainly not poetic. The cable guy has been here since 1 o'clock, I'm not sure what the problem is. He is running through my house like he's doing the 50 yard dash. The dog is rather fond of him though. I sort of wish he'd hurry as I have places to go. The upside is I had to leave work to let him in. So, I've been spending a lot of time at the Lonesome Hotel over on RT23, it's nice to catch up sometimes.

So, I've been thinking about actually apologizing to the man who's turned me upside down and inside out for chewing his already tiny hiney. He's so skittish anyway, I probably ought not have done that. I did send cookies his way as a sort of peace offering. He just keeps saying thank you. Poor guy. I've gone and given him a cookie complex of some sort. I also bought him a card, that I'm going to actually snail mail to him. But, I think I'm actually going to give in and verbally apologize to him. I don't do that very often, but then I don't generally chew someone's ass either. No, really. Jennifer don't you say a word. I hear you snickering. Trouble is of course I couldn't beat the living daylights out of, oh well never mind, so I took it all out on him.


Speaking of complexes.....I took an online personality test yesterday and I have some sort of schizzo something or other, it's not phrenia.....some other type of schitzoid disorder. Apparently, I am afraid of close relations outside of my family, I am generally frightened of people, I prefer to be alone inside my head, I have a love of the occult and magic and I'm very strange and I dig it too much. Since when was believing in magic a personality disorder and who decided this? Can they prove magic is not real? I thought not. I am also borderline narcistic and obsessive compulsive. So when describing myself from now on I am going to say I am a narcistic, obsessive, frightened, magical freak who lives inside her own head. Does anyone remember Herman's Head? I loved that show so much. And of course, it was canceled after the 1st season.

The cable guy sure makes a lot of weird noises. I am frightened of him a little bit. No, not really, he's just sort of old and probably tired from the track meet today. Usually, the cable peeps send out young guys who look like Nascar drivers. They once sent one out who looked like Dale Jr. except some how cuter. I was totally unexpectant of this and answered the door in a white t-shirt without a bra. (I was much younger then and the girls were still up there if ya know what I mean) I didn't think he was ever going to leave. I had a boyfriend at the time though unfortunately, otherwise, I wouldn't have wanted him to leave bada bing...What is it with cable guys and getting them out of your house? Oh and they once sent out a guy who looked exactly like Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is not a nascar driver nor does he look like one or even play one on tv that I'm aware of. He did flip his car not long ago though. I don't know how I know these things, seeing how I live in my head and all.

Love,
Cow Punk

Cookies for breakfast

No vodak or soaps yesterday. Only work and a boss and an ass who drive me insane. The Ass was not much of an ass yesterday. I think because I am trying my best to be nice to her.

I did have a visitor last night. My dad and he bought pizza. The pizza was good but it gave me a terrifying heart burn. Of course I had 5 chocolate, chocolate chip cookies for breakfast and that possibly contributed to the terror. Anyhoo, there is a lot of pizza left so I can have it for lunch. Not even 7 and I'm already looking forward to lunch.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my job? If not, let me just tell you, I HATE MY JOB. After Christmas I will search for a new employment. Life is too short to spend it with either: (A) Married to someone you don't love and never will or (B) A job that you hate and people who make you want to either choke them or even yourself in order to escape them. I took care of A once upon a time, now I will take care of B. I think I would like to work for a school district. Lots of vacation time. Speaking of which, I need to take care of finishing enrolling in my College Courses.

That's all, I'm sorry I keep bitching about my job. But it's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to. No one's around here much anyway, at least that I'm aware of. Could just be the vodak though.

Love,
Cow Punk

None such

I really, really don't want to go to work today. I know I've just had 4 days off but I want 5, hell I really want 2 weeks. I really don't want to ever go back again. I don't mind working, I just mind working at this job. I think I will tap my heels together 3 times and say, "There's no place like a greenhouse".

It is snowing out this morning...yeah, snow, 4 days off work and Mother Nature decides today, Monday, when everyone has to go out to dump snow on us. Lovely. Here's the best part, cold as a well diggers ass in January today and 65 tomorrow. WTF? My sinus's are going nuts.

I might be a bit grumpy this morning. D-dog is pacing the floor, what the hell does a dog have to pace the floor about anyway? He's clean, dry, fed, watered and loved. He gets to lounge on the couch all day. Later my dad will bring him a pound of turkey from the deli. What does he have to be nervous for? Maybe it's the anticipation of the turkey. Good grief. I wish I could lounge on the couch all day. No really, I do. Lounge all day and eat the two batches of cookies I baked over the weekend.

I feel like I've been kicked in the ribs by a donkey this morning.
I'd rather clean up horse shit in the freezing cold, all day, than go to work, is that wrong of me?

Seriously, why can't I just stay home and watch TV all day long? I haven't watched a soap opera since they canceled Santa Barbra , but I'd just love to today. I think Eden moved to Port Charles, I could catch up with my old friend and hear of her beautifully tragic life. I could drink Vodka all day and wait for Vladmir to peer through the french doors at me. He hasn't glared at me since Nov. 4th. I miss you Puti poot. Oh the huge manatee.

My last few minutes of freedom are up, I must leave now and oh so grudgingly go face reality.

There's no place like a greenhouse, there's no place like a greenhouse.

Love,
Cow Punk

Fire in the rainbow

Another Thanksgiving come, gone and survived. I felt bad because I did not stay long at mom's, but there were too many people for me on that particular day. Plus, the dog was sick and I didn't want to leave him long. He's like my child, especially now that all my human children are almost grown. All I wanted was for them to grow, grow, grow up, be self sufficient and now? I miss having little kids to take care of. I need to find a hobby now or I fear becoming an alcoholic. No, I'm completely serious here, too much time on my hands = too much alcohol. Too much alcohol = me doing and saying things I regret the next day. Which is of course, the case today. I'm also feeling so blue because the mini vaca from work hell is almost over. I know there is another 5 day vaca in a month but still..........

I did say I love you to him, although it was in french and I wrote it instead of actually saying it. I was feeling bad because I chewed his ass (I really can't chew an ass without feeling remorseful for it) and I thought, even if he doesn't know what it means, I said it. Besides, there's always google right? I am also of the opinion that most people know what J'taime means. I could be wrong as I often am. I will say he has not left me alone since saying it. It could just be because he thinks I'm mad at him. I'm not mad at him, I'm pissed off at the situation and the bad nut. Yes, she's crawled out of the dumpster and is stirring up hate and discontent.
I tried so hard to keep my mouth shut about her to him, tried to sort of be his light at the end of the tunnel and above all not be crazy because he's already drowning in insanity, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back and watch her walk all over him and use his children as her bait. Children she can't even be bothered to see and yet thinks she deserves to be paid for. Feck that and feck her . I won't watch her hurt him anymore and if he won't send her back to the cess pool she crawled out of, I will. I believe he and his little girls are one of those things worth fighting for. She does not deserve to even know him and she does not deserve her children. I would, given 1/2 a chance, choke the life out of her with my bare hands. I know it, like I know my own name. She is the most hateful, hurtful, stupid, selfish, spiteful person I've ever known of.

Enough, she's worn me out, loathe is such a tiring emotion. I'm going to go listen (again) to my voice message from the one who turned me upside down, inside out, and made me care again. I think he called as soon as he got out of bed. J'taime. I haven't decided if I'm calling him back though. I always give in too soon and I really do want him to think about it this time. If he wants to continue to let her control his life that's up to him, but I will not let her control mine. And for all my bravado, I really can't do anything about her, he has to do it. I can light a fire under him though and I'm always ready to strike the match.


I'm going to leave you with this:
If a man is in the woods and speaks without a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Love,
Cow punk

Toes and such

Whirlpool has shocked me, first I spoke to a person who speaks English (no offence to anyone who doesn't but I do and it makes it much easier to communicate) as their 1st language, 2nd they will ship a new gas valve and thermocouple overnight free of charge, 3rd they will replace the tank should I continue to have problems. Now, I will not have to email them everyday for the rest of my life. And tonight I can shower at my home.

I started the day out getting up late and coffee grounds in my coffee, grounds make me ill...hopefully the day will only get better, but knowing where I must go, I seriously doubt it.

The witch at work is still being a witch, but everyone is ignoring her and she's just making herself look like an ass. She is an ass but now everyone knows it. I've known for years.

I am officially sick and tired of winter. I need to live somewhere where winter is about 2 weeks long. Come to think of it, I'm just officially sick and tired. Of everything, money, bills, men, well the list would just go on and on. Yes, I'm sick and tired of men, one man springs to mind, but I still love his toes and the way they feel on my toes.

Have to run...literally.

Love,
Cow Punk

Ok, so everyone was very nice, knowledgeable and helpful at Lowe's yesterday. I must eat my words. In fact, the one guy who helped me, listened to me bitch for 3 minutes and asked me to call the store manager, he's heard it before and agrees with me, that the hot water tank should be pulled from the stores. Yes, they are still selling this piece of garbage. They did not have the part I needed, no of course not. So, I will have to pay shipping. I've decided to order two of these thermocouples so next time I'm already ready already and can save the 24 bucks on shipping. I have written whirlpool a nasty letter and will continue to write them until I get a response I find worthy of the sitution. This is RIDICULOUS. If the part is faulty at least have the decency to make them readily available. GRRR.

Monday, Monday....ick, but 4 day weekend coming up! I love long weekends, I will especially love it, if I have hot water and can see all the people I am thankful for, well I won't see them all, but if I can see most of them. My dad will be in town and that's making me a happy girl. My grandmother is still with us and I didn't think she would be, so another Holiday with her I did not think I would have.

I am thankful for best friends who let me come over to shower. :) I'll remember the bird tonight, no not that bird. ;) The turkey bird.

Well, time to play hillbilly and warm the water on the stove to wash my face, then off to school and work. I was going to go in to see Gilbert today, but I might not leave and I don't like having all his kids look at me...student kids that is. Also Wyatt says he thinks that might be embarrassing for him...maybe I should go in after all ;)

Love,

cow punk

Randomness.....boring Sunday morning

Yes, here I am again. Have I gone to Lowe's yet, no in a word. You see it is dreary and cold outside and I'm showing no signs of wanting to get out and about. The tank will not repaired until tonight anyway, so no hurry until I realize I've been sitting here for hours and it 3:30 and I must HURRY.
Why do I do this? Because I am a goat. Yes, it's true. I was born under the sign of the goat. Goats are procrastinating, stubborn creatures.

I've recently discovered Chinese astrology. It's very interesting and fun. It's much funner (I know not a word) being a Fire Goat than a lame ass water bearer. That water is heavy and shit....plus sometimes it's feckin cold. Hot teacher is a Pig. No, I don't mean he's a man pig, I mean, he's a Chinese Piggy, a metal Chinese Piggy. My dad has called me Chinese piggy for as long as I can remember...Now you would think that a Goat and Pig would be a not so good match, both being stubborn and all, but apparently they are a match made in heaven. Who knew? I guess it's a good thing because in Western astrology we are to avoid each other at all cost. I find this odd though, as my aunt and uncle share our perspective signs and have been married for 50 some odd years.

My butt hurts. I've been sitting here far too long but I seem to not want to do anything else. I would do dishes if I had HOT WATER. I would also wash the stink from my poor aching body.

You know I hate going to Lowe's. It overwhelms me and frightens me. Plus everyone who works there is a moron. I know it is not nice to genralise peeps, but statistics tell me otherwise. 9/10 times I'm in there the salesperson is indeed moronic and possibly very hateful. I guess I might be hateful too if I had to work there and deal with idiots such as myself every day. But, correct me if I'm wrong, they get PAID to deal with me. I know it's not much pay, still yet...deal with it Moron or get yourself back to Planet Moronican.

Well, my back is killing me so I must get out of this chair and do something constructive besides throwing clothes in the washing machine. I could sweep the floor and mop it, make the bed, put Halloween decorations up...yes, they are still out, but I've not one box to store them in. Not to mention I've made a new policy just today, Halloween will not go up until Christmas comes out. That gives me a week more to continue my goat like ways.

My God, do I stink, I'm offending myself and quite possibly the dog, I noticed he's not been up my butt all day. You know it's bad when you offend a creature who smells their own urine.

There's Jen, someone to talk to besides myself ;)

I'm outtie.

Love,
Cow Punk







These are all peace loving animals and believe in mutual co-operation. They are neither too zealous and active nor intelligent and also do not believe in accepting challenges and risks as they are highy sensitive animals. They also have great ability to elicit and seek sympathy, hence they are considerate, love and sympathise with each other. Pig requires Cat's crafty cunningness and Goat's civility and humility.

The power of love

The feckin hot water heater is not working. This is the 2ND time in 6 mos, the damn thing has quit working. So here I sit, dirty and stinky, waiting for Lowes to open and hoping to all the Gods I am aware of that they have the part I need. Mr. Johnson at Whirlpool corp. assures me that they do, Lowes website, assures me that they do not. Take this advice and never, ever purchase a hot water heater made by Whirlpool, unless you enjoy going without hot water every six freaking months. I will be replacing the thing as soon as I am able. Which will be approximately when my tax refund is deposited into my account. GRRRRRRRRRR.

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I was thinking about the different names for couches. Well, this is what I call that long thing in the living room that my dog thinks is his personal doggie bed. Seriously, he will growl at you if you try to sit on it. He thinks it is his and his alone. I digress, I was thinking maybe what you called the couch depends on where you are from. My ex-b/f called it a sofa, he is from up north, my dad also calls it a sofa, he lives in the Southeast. I call it a couch as do most of the people I know, I live in Oklahoma. My granny always called it the divan but she was from Arkansas so that blows my theory all to hell.

This line of thinking led me to a particular Saturday morning when I was a wee lassie. I was up sitting on my granny's divan, wrapped in my favorite blanket, having Pepsi and a snickers bar watching my favorite TV, Looney Tunes or maybe the Jetsons, man I loved the Jetsons. Anyway, my brother and my cousin were up and in the spare room, doing God knows what, but making a lot of noise, when all of the sudden my Popa comes walking in. Popa was a big bear of a man with a temperament to match. He did not like ice chewing, horse play or noise. We were not expecting him, as most Saturday mornings, he left before dawn even cracked an eyeball and would stay at the local tire shop all day long. Hey, this was Sperry, OK there wasn't much to do. I digress again, Popa came walking in, he smiled at me and told me what a good little girl I was and headed straight for my two best friends in that particular version of my world. As I mentioned before there was a lot of noise coming from the spare room and much to the displeasure of my Popa, there was gasp.....HORSE PLAY going on. Now truth be told, the two of them were probably just jumping off the bed, clad only in their underroos and a pillowcase cape pretending to be a Super hero or GI Joe.

My grandfather was not against playing by any means, you could jump off the roof for all he cared, as long as you didn't hurt yourself (this would be an inconvenience and prohibit beer drinking and watching Quincy MD, Dragnet, Mannix, Hawaii Five O or a host of other cop shows) and you were not jumping on the bed or divan, and you were OUTSIDE. Unfortunately for my best friends, they were committing 3 Cardinal sins, they were INSIDE, JUMPING ON (OR OFF) THE BED, MAKING NOISE. What happened next? My Popa yelled for all to hear, that my beloved cousin and brother were HORSE'S ASSES, this HORSEPLAY would end immediately and oh the horror, there would be no Saturday morning Lifesavers for them, his favorite and best grandchild would be getting their Lifesavers. Man, oh man, was this the best Saturday morning ever? I loved Lifesavers, and now I had 3 rolls, all to myself. Two fruit flavored and my very favorite Butterscotch. I ate every one of those fruity, butterscotchy, delicious discs with a smile on my little ornery face. ..nevermind the tummy ache that was sure to ensue.

Book 'em Danno...judgement was passed.

The horse's asses were ordered to sit on the divan , watching sadly and with longing, me eating their Lifesavers and having to watch what I, best granddaughter in all the universe, wanted to watch. I thought this only fair as they had, with their shenanigans interrupted my favorite time of the week. Saturday morning cartoons and Pepsi were for me, what beer and cop shows were to Popa.

I'm fairly certain I was later busted for ice chewing. I never got in trouble with Popa though, he would just shake his head and say "don't do that, it's not good for your teeth, little girl". Then he would pat my head and send me to jump off the roof.

I miss my Popa dearly, he was my champion and believed I could do anything. He was always proud of his grand kids, even when they were horses asses. We all loved him very much and were very proud of him.

I got to spend a lot of time with grandfather one year as an adult, I was not working, lived with my mother in the sticks and had to drop my kids off at school in Tulsa every day. So, I would head over to my grandparent's house to spend the day. Nothing much exciting ever took place, we would head to Skiatook or Sperry to have lunch at a cafe, but I treasure this time more than I can express in words. My Popa developed Alzheimer's and didn't remember who I was. I became "that pretty lady who looks like my mother". He didn't remember who any of us were. He did however, always remember that we were his people.

Popa couldn't remember to breathe or make his heart beat, but he never, ever forgot that he loved us and that we loved him.

Run off and tell someone you love them and give them a hug, you never know what might become.... The one person I really want to confess my love to is not here and I'm unsure it's something he needs to hear right now anyway. Or maybe, I am just afraid. I've always believed love took time and there is not much time between the two of us. I don't believe that anymore. But my fear and my desire to get this right this time, leaves me silent and searching the heart I had no use for, until my eyes fell upon my love's beautiful, sweet face.

I made a wish, I said it out loud. Maybe tomorrow, maybe someday.

Love,
Cow Punk

Random thoughts part one

I love life and hate my job.
I've wasted way too much time.
Some things are worth fighting for, coffee isn't one of them.
My mind has been blown and I can't remember it.
I am in love, not bells and whistles, sirens going off, weak in the knees (ok I am that, but I think it's just arthritis) love, this is calm, steady as she goes, peaceful, love, although when I look at him, my heart does skip a beat, or does it beat faster? Maybe both.
I have the best friends and family in the world.
Sometimes, God will surprise you and let you know he is listening to you.
When in doubt, don't until you've really thought it through.
A dog's love is never ending and ever gracious.
All, I have to do is smile and I melt his heart...it's true, he told me. He also told me it does something else to him, but I shall keep that joke to myself. It does keep a never ending smile on my face, even when all I want to do is cry.
Imagining punching someone who has truly pissed you off will only make you want to punch them in the face even more.
Everyone will eventually show their true colors to the wrong person.
Life is a lolly pop...

Love,
Cow Punk

History's rainbow

All the hulla baloo is finally over. I think I'm suffering from Post election blues. President Obama sure does sound good to my ears though. I have a President crush, it's the first one ever. I tried to find a photo of him that might explain the crush I have but only found this one.



Doesn't really explain the crush but I like it. It is time.

I watched the election with my children. I didn't insist, I didn't ask, they watched on their own, they wanted to watch history take place. History's happening was sort of anti-climatic, we had a round of fist bumps, watched the concession speech (which was quite gracious), watched the acceptance speech (what if he'd declined to accept the nomination, what then?), then we all went to bed.

Wednesday morning I saw a rainbow that spanned the distance of my city, it was quite beautiful and quite odd....there had been no rain.

I have heard nothing from either of my parents, I would assume they are too busy building underground bunkers. Just kidding....or am I? My dad is probably too paralyzed with fear that Obama is coming to take that extra 8 bucks out of his paycheck, to type me a little note. Bless his heart.

Well, I must return to my prison work program now. I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

Peace and Love,
Cow punk

One word Wednesday

Election day

So election day...finally...I've taken the day off so I can go vote with out pressure to leave the long line and return to work without voting. Plus, I think I will come home and drink a ton of vodka, so that I can see Vladmir from my backyard one last time. Which I noticed that post is gone and I'm not sure what happened...maybe too much vodka and confused fingers? I also took the day off to spend with my oldest son. He will be moving into his own place tomorrow. It's all very weird. I feel excited about him moving and also a little sad and scared for him. I think he is feeling the same. I can't ask because he's sleeping...at least he's not on my couch, showing me his, well, I'll spare you the visual.

Since, it's election day, I'm pondering how my two staunchly Repub parents raised 3 very liberal offspring. Both my siblings and myself will be casting a vote for Sen. Obama. Both my parents are convinced he is a Muslim, terrorist anti-christ, then turn around and tell me to enjoy my anti religious, socialistic Messiah. What? Make up your mind people. He can not be both the anti-Christ and second coming of Jesus. It just doesn't work that way in my world. What I really find amusing though, is that way back when I was growing up and forming my opinions of the world, both Mom and Dad were staunch liberal Democrats. Hippies if you will or even if you won't. They have both asked me in the past 6 months where I got such a "liberal" view on politics. I just smiled and said, you were a good parent and taught me well. Then they both changed the subject....oh how soon we forget.

I feel so sad for them...they continue to deny the truth and sling "Obama" mud at me. They are too busy digging in the dirt, to form an honest opinion. My mother called me about two weeks ago and told me to watch out because Mr. Obama was going to be taking 1500$ out of my checking account that very night. I gotta hand it to her, that was one of the best laughs I'd had in a long while. I've forgotten to ask her how that turned out for her...oh well, probably for the best.

This is Zac's (sleeping son) first election and he's very excited about taking part in such an historic election. Now, we just both hope things WILL change. And we both hope Diebold will not rob the American people of their opinions again.

Well, I'm off to vote, I hope you are doing the same.

Peace and love,

Cow Punk

Ode to a squirrel

I am sad this morning. My squirrel passed away. He is in the backyard laying lifeless. The squirrel was mean and chittered, chattered and chastised me, the cats and of course the dog anytime we dared venture into our own yard. But see, the squirrel lived here before any of us did. He owned the place long before I did, so I figured he had the right to bitch at us for encroaching on his 'hood. He never came near any of us, but would instead shoot nuts out his mouth anytime we came too near. I would yell obscenities at him but inside I was laughing at him. He would throw back cuss words at me in his squirrel language. It became a game for both of us. I sure am going to miss that squirrel. The worst part is I have to go in the backyard, scoop him up and throw him in the garbage can. I think instead I will put him in a shoe box and have my son bury him. It seems a more proper ending for a creature that brought me so much in the way of emotions.

I have a very busy day. I'm off to see the wizard. Not really, my mom, grandma and later my Gilbert. Up until last night I had not been able to see him in a month. It seemed more like a year. Oddly enough though, the time away from him proved to be a good thing. It gave me time to think about what's important and what's not. I also took a step backwards and saw him with clearer vision, looked at his faults, thought of his fears, saw all the trials and tribulations he is facing and guess what? He's just an ordinary guy. He's still my Superman.

Have a supercalifragilisticexpealdocious weekend. I'm not really sure that's how you spell that, but you get the idea!

Love,
Cow Punk